An Open Letter to Congress on Planned Parenthood

To All Members of Congress that Voted to Defund Planned Parenthood:

I want to share with you one story about Planned Parenthood: my own story.  I would like to show you that your decision to defund this organization has an impact beyond the scope of your current thought.  I will be polite, logical, and honest, and I hope that you hear me.  It is something of a long letter, but there's some back story, so I beg your patience.

I would consider myself a very average American.  I am from a small town, grew up as an only child of a single mother, and checked the lowest income box when I applied for my FAFSA before college.  I was valedictorian of my high school class and went to a modest liberal arts school in Iowa where I could be near my grandmother.  When I graduated with my BA, I joined the Peace Corps to travel the world and serve others.

The Peace Corps gave me some of the best medical care I've ever received.  I was rarely ill as a child and didn't like the extra expenses in college, but in Peace Corps, this government program, I was treated to rounds of shots and nicely staffed offices.  I learned about my body and how to treat it well.  I exercised, lost weight, and ate healthy.  I stayed in Cambodia for two more years following Peace Corps, working as a librarian and paying down my student debt to zero.  I took advantage of the cheap system of health care in SE Asia and made sure that all my dental visits and doctor concerns were managed.

There was one thing I couldn't find in Cambodia: a gynecologist.  But, since I was young and healthy, with no problems, and a relatively recent screen through Peace Corps, I didn't worry about it.

I decided that I wanted to return to America for graduate school in my new field of choice: librarianship.  I had done some traveling, ruminated about my future career path, and knew that I needed more credentials to follow that path.  I moved to Pittsburgh.

Let me summarize the main points so far.  I am an average American edging into lucky and privileged territory.  I was able to go from a tiny town in Nebraska to a college education to working overseas to save and pay off my student loans.  I was extremely healthy, financially secure, and exceedingly independent.

I moved to Pittsburgh, got an apartment with the help of a friend's parents, and started school.  Let me add that I am lucky just once more, to have a friend I could stay with, a car (that I purchased from my mother) to drive across the States in, and the opportunities of school that were before me.

The time I spent in graduate school was difficult, because living in America is difficult.  I didn't have health insurance (the premiums were almost as much as rent per month and I was beyond my mother's insurance).  I didn't have a full-time job like I had the two years previously (and, arguably two years before that).  I didn't have a Peace Corps medical office to call (the school med center was there, though they had to refer me out).

I had saved (what I thought was) a lot of money, about $6,000, and paid off all previous debt, but it went fast.  Between rent, car expenses, setting up an empty apartment with used goods, and the variety of other expenses of America, I was struggling.  I was working a minimum wage internship, taking every opportunity to earn more elsewhere, while still working as a student.  I moved in with friends to save money, shared my commute with co-workers, and rarely bought anything new.  This is, unfortunately, not an unusual story for millennials, at least in my circles of friends.

Now, here may be a TMI moment.  While I was sexually active, I was not sexually irresponsible.  You may not be interested in my sex life (and I sincerely hope you aren't), but you need to know that I was not having unprotected sex, or having one-night flings, or being unsafe.  I don't think that this matters in this discourse, but I see it brought up in many conservative discussions, so perhaps it is important for you.  I take responsibility for myself and my health, and I wanted to be respectful of my partners.  I learned in Peace Corps that getting screened and tested was a proactive way to demonstrate that respect.

I also wanted to take my own action to prevent pregnancy, just in case.  It was easy in Cambodia, because the monthly dose of the pill only cost about a dollar.  I was at the end of my bulk supply.  I looked into other options, did my research, and decided on an IUD.

The student med center didn't do IUDS, but Planned Parenthood would.  Pennsylvania has a woman's health program (Thanks, PA!) that allowed low-income women (like myself) access to health care.  That meant that I could go into Planned Parenthood and get an IUD for free.  For me, the IUD was a way to be constantly and consistently safe, for five years, for a minimal price (for the state and for me).  It managed some menstrual symptoms, prevented pregnancy, and didn't require daily attention.

It was perfect.  I set up the appointment for the preliminary exam.  By this time, it had been about 3-4 years since I had seen a gynecologist.  For a mid-20s woman, that's not abnormal.  We should have a check-up every two years, to check for cervical cancer.  In order to get an IUD, they gave me a pelvic exam.  During that pelvic exam, they found something that required a procedure.  I won't explain the graphic details of this, but it required me to go to the hospital.

Here is my luck again... that procedure was quick and easy, outpatient, and paid for with my PA women's health insurance.  That procedure took place in a local hospital, that I could get to on public transport, and that took only a few hours of recovery time.  There were no complications.  It wasn't as serious as some.

Planned Parenthood took care of me, both with their response to my pelvic exam and subsequent referral to a hospital, and their ability to provide me with the lowest cost (both for the state and for me) birth prevention method available.  The cost, even if I hadn't had the women's insurance, would have been far less than the cost otherwise.

I didn't have an abortion.  I was able to prevent pregnancy.  Not everyone is as fortunate... to be able to have control over their birth control, and to not suffer an abusive situation.  I was lucky... again... to not have to make that choice.  I know that many of you disagree with the idea of abortion, but that choice is not easy... nor is it yours to make.

Planned Parenthood was there when I was working to improve myself.  Many conservative values radiate around the idea that a person can pull themselves up and make a better life.  I have done that.  I am still doing that.  When I was working towards my goal, the price of school and the cost of living were a difficult cross to bear, but I'm back to enriching, full-time work and paying into the economy with purchases and taxes.  I am not reliant on state money, and I'm paying back my student loans, almost free from debt.  I am an educator as well, a confident shaper of young minds.

But, I was lucky:

• I had friends who supported me. People who could pick me up from the doctor or take me out for dessert after a difficult appointment.  Not all women do.
  
• I had a vehicle, ample (thought unreliable at times) public transport, and easy access.  Not all women do.
  
• I had a state that supported women's health through their insurance program.  Pennsylvania, thank you.  Not all women do.
  
• I had the education to request, and sometimes demand, contraception.  Both for myself and with my male partners.  Not all women do.
  
• I had the confidence and the control and the willpower to demand contraception from my (wonderful) male partners.  Unfortunately, not all women do.
  
• I had a safety net in my wallet, in my family, in my friends.  I had money in savings.  Not all women do.
  
• I had access to another medical center and hospital.  Not all women do.
  
• I had zero student debt, and could afford the education I was receiving.  Not all women do.
  
• I had a job that understood and accepted my need for recovery time, even though I didn't use it.  Not all women do.
  
• I had a finite date for my minimum wage internship, which was a stepping stone to a salary job.  Not all women do.
  
• I had a Planned Parenthood location that wasn't picketed (that often) and that was private.  Not all women do.

I was very lucky.  Not all women are.  I needed Planned Parenthood, and many, many other women need it more.

My story is not unusual.  In fact, I heard my story in many of my friends.  Planned Parenthood is easy, inexpensive, helpful, positive, non-judmental, and sensitive.  For young women and men across the country, support for their health is available.  Whether it be for contraception, responsible testing, or abuse support, women and men are using these clinics to benefit themselves, and to benefit America.  They are responsible citizens working for their better life.

By defunding Planned Parenthood, you are preventing people like me, a responsible, hard-working adult woman, from accessing birth control that saves tax-dollar money.  You're also preventing it for the millions of women who are in similar need of a place that cares about them.  I had it easy here, but in that one heartbeat of time in my life when I truly needed them, they were there.

Please, I beg you, do not defund Planned Parenthood.  Doing so does not solve your mission to end all abortion, but puts that many more lives in danger.  Planned Parenthood is not the enemy here, and their efforts have mediated the numbers of abortions through providing safe and easy access to contraception.  Defunding them makes that contraception more difficult and restricts health care for those that desperately need it.  Please do not take this away from the women who need it.

All the best,
Kelsey

Can Asians Think?

I've been reading this book with this mighty shocking title.  The author (a Singaporean) talks about Asia as.... everything.  I expected the book would be more about education, but it centers mostly around economics and politics.

He talks about the west being somewhat hypocritical in their methods of approaching other nations.  They believe so much in democracy, so they force it onto countries without the economic stability to reinforce or take ownership for.  They forget that their method doesn't work everywhere for everyone.  They forget that their method barely works in their own country.  They forgo involvement and moral concerns when they aren't threatened.

Some interesting pieces:
(57-64)
Good government doesn't necessarily mean democracy.  In many Asian nations (including the one I currently live in), the nature of the government is very different.  There is a King who is encouraging development and the health and wealth of his people.  Thailand has come a long way under this King.  The government, while not without issues, is pretty darn good, and it is considerably different than the US.

He mentions that the West often is putting the ideals of democracy prior to the goal of economic development.  It's difficult to live up to; without every person having a stake in their economic development, neither will succeed in the way the West hopes.  He goes on to say that Japan is a good example: they underwent a huge transformation after the war because of reforms imposed by MacArthur.  No democratic leader could have instituted those reforms and (therefore) the growth that they created.

I think he has a point.  Cambodia has "democracy" that the West implemented with the early 1990s... and look what has happened.  It is corrupt and unable to stand on its own two feet.  It's neighbors have had so much more economic growth with their varied political structures.

(87)
In Singapore, criminal behavior is dealt with fairly harshly.  As he puts it, the common interest in safety rises above the ideas of due process.  Singapore made this choice and lives with this choice.  The West prefers to wax poetic about their democracy as they allow the sale of drugs on their street corners, which is another choice.  However, they have no right to judge others for their choices and the consequences that are faced.  In this, he gives an example.  He visited the newspaper offices of four great American newspapers, and realized that if he left at night and walked 3 blocks in the wrong direction, he could find himself in a great deal of trouble.  In Singapore, crime near the newspaper office in nonexistent.  The West goes to other countries to try to instill their morals, despite not being aware of the hypocrisy inherent in their judgments.  The US is far from perfect; education and health care, just to name a few, could be vastly improved.  It would help if the US learned from other places and peoples... and listened and changed... but instead they try so often to walk into other countries and say how things should be done.

(99)
Speaking of which, the US cannot continue on this trend.  The US is facing enormous fiscal issues, and turning its back on solving the problems.  Mahburani calls it "massive social decay," the fact that violence, single parent homes, and divorce rates have risen at an alarming rate.  And yet, still, they parade into other countries, especially the East, where social institutions and families are a backbone of society, to preach democracy.  There are huge troubles in the future of the States, and they seem unprepared to deal with them.

(178-192)
Cambodia.
The chaotic era of the Khmer Rouge is directly related to the West and their business in SE Asia.  This essay is called "Pol Pot: the Paradox of Moral Correctness."  He begins by talking about meetings between Churchill and Stalin, and the fact that Churchill's dealings with a genocidal ruler have not tarnished his reputation.  However, Thatcher never met with Pol Pot, because the west 'didn't deal with genocidal rulers.' Even though the actions that took so much from the Cambodian people were condemned by those in power, no steps were taken to try to come to a peace agreement.  He talks about the Paris Peace Conference in 1989; the Khmer Rouge weren't invited to come to a peace meeting because they were condemned by so many leaders, but by not coming to the conference, no peace was to be found.  Instead, the Vietnam invasion was accepted.

There were power plays that the West was blind to; Vietnam and their invasion was seen as a rescue of Cambodians, though that wasn't the case.  They refused to deal with the Khmer Rouge and it led to a greater evil.  The prime minister (who is still in power) tried to start riots and confused the Western media (most of them, at least).  The UN was brought in to hold elections, which appeared to be a nice decision, though rumor has it that the UN brought more disease than stability.  This essay places a lot of blame on the West, for appearing so distraught, then refusing to help where and when it counted.  Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge, as well as Hun Sen, were (and are) well funded through various channels in the country.  The non-communist parties couldn't raise enough foreign investments to become viable candidates.  The UN couldn't gather the appropriate funds, even as the tragedy was all over the Western media.  It says something about the appearance of morality.

I'm no expert on this, not at all.  This was a painful read, though.  I think of how the West is operating in Cambodia.  They give millions of dollars in aid, a bulk of which lines the coffers of the wealthy and powerful.  They are running a tribunal which wasn't instituted by Cambodia, spending millions on prosecuting those who are almost too old to be on trial.  The country is visibly corrupt, and it is shocking to me as I live here in Thailand, how much more apparent it is for me.

I've heard that before Singapore gained their independence and began planning their city, they came to Phnom Penh to see one of the best cities in Asia.  Cambodia had a golden era, full of art and music and film, and it was all destroyed.  Between Vietnam, and the West, and the forces that were taking hold of the country, that golden era didn't stand a chance.  And look at them now... I am crushed at what once was and what it has become.

fin

The book is wonderful.  It is an enthralling read for anyone in development, especially in Asia.  There are pieces about the UN as well that I found interesting.  Money, economics, influence, power... these things are all in here, and they are well written and thoughtful.  I highly recommend this book (considering I just wrote an essay for fun about it).

Conflict

Today, I re-realized that I am not skilled in dealing with and managing conflict.  In fact, I would consider it one of my weaker (if not my weakest) skill.

The conflict I'm dealing with today isn't even that serious.  Someone asked me to do something that isn't possible given my situation.  I don't want to go into great deal given my fear of things ending up in the wrong hands.  I was being asked to do something, and it isn't going to happen.  I feel slightly bad at the circumstances, but I was also put into an unpleasant situation.

Either way, I psyched myself up to tell this person I wasn't able to do it.  I got a pep talk from my friend, and walked over to deliver the news in person since I got an email about it in the morning.  It stresses me out in a very serious way to have these kinds of conversations.  Well, to have these conversations with certain people.  The person in question is typically passive aggressive, and I've been visiting with many more loud and boisterous people recently.  I told her, and she didn't say a word back to me.

It takes me back, to the day that I told my former roommates I was leaving their house.  That was a considerably more stressful situation, with a similar reaction.  The girl roommate sat, looked at her computer, and only spoke one time, angrily, nastily.  I was upset for weeks at the things that she said to me, the way she treated me.  I chose to live there because of the friendship that we had, and it bothered me to find out how little I was valued as a person.  Honestly, that's a tiny percentage of the strife I felt in that house.

Today, this person stared at the computer and didn't look at me when I told her that I couldn't comply with her request.  I do feel bad, but I will not feel that bad.  The request is not unreasonable, and normally I would be happy to help, but my denial is also not unreasonable given the situation at hand.  The trouble that I have is in the delivery.  I am upset at this passive aggressive treatment.

The problem is that I, too, am sometimes passive aggressive, or at least I avoid conflict at every turn.  I would have preferred to email this response, but I felt unsure about documenting it.  I would have preferred a different ending with the roommates, but that also didn't happen.  It is hard for me to approach an issue and I want to improve in this.

At this point, my goal is to ask her politely what I've done to warrant this type of treatment.  Politely, of course, approaching it as something that I'd like to resolve professionally.  I have such an opportunity in this school to do things very well and go very far, and I don't want to have anything standing in my path as I work here.  It is a phenomenal school, with great support.  I'm incredibly grateful to Kim at this point, for the advice that he's imparted on me.

We figured out that I've some trauma associated with this active ignoring.  I'd like to heal myself of this with time.  One step at a time, I will.

Voluntourism

When I was at the IB conference in Singapore, I was fortunate enough to listen to a talk from Tessa Boudrie, a woman who has been working as a social worker in Asia for years and years.  She currently runs a business that connects philanthropists with philanthropic opportunities, in Asia, and was speaking on choosing a good organization for the school to support.  She's a consultant, which has become a much needed business in this world that I now live in.  She worked in Cambodia, and gave several examples of this in her talk, in Burma, in Singapore, in Hong Kong, all over.  The talk was... phenomenal.  She laid her talk out in bullet points and examples; how should one choose an organization?  Look for this and this and this, else this and this is likely happening.

Voluntourism, which is volunteering for short stints of time in a foreign country, is a relatively new idea, and one that is catching on quickly.  There are organizations that provide short trips for students, for church groups, for adults, for anyone, for any amount of time.  Sometimes people pick up activities that are philanthropic while they visit another country.  I know people who've done that as well.  It's everywhere at this point, especially in countries with less infrastructure, like Cambodia.

There are huge implications for this.  Huge.  And so, here I write, hoping that the mind of at least one soul will be opened up.  I heard the talk, and noted the concerns, and thought a week, and edited more.  I'm very torn on this issue, torn on the things that I've seen and heard and experienced.  I volunteered throughout high school, throughout college; I was a Peace Corps Volunteer.  Now, I'm working through some intense reflection and looking through a different lens.  I'm going to go through my notes on her presentation, and present them to you.  She had examples, and I have examples, and it will be a big mash up of the two.  She put into clear words and phrases the things that I was beginning to grasp onto as I worked and lived in Cambodia.

We need to think about the differences between development and charity.  Development, where we help someone improve something about their life, something that they've identified they could change with a little help... and Charity, giving things to others.  That's the drive behind this.

Is the organization....

...needs based?
I saw this so often.  One day while I was working at school, an electric piano appeared on the doorstep.  It was a gift from the Korean government, part of an initiative to get Cambodian kids to enjoy playing music more.  There were a few problems with this idea.  One, there was no electricity to plug this piano into.  The school had no such thing.  Two, what teacher is going to lead a kid through this discovery?  None of our teachers knew how to play the piano.  I could tap a few keys into a melody from having a computer, but I can't well do that without electricity.  Three, any and all valuable (including school books) were usually kept locked up... when was this theoretical child meant to learn this?  They were answering an idea from their own lips, not the ideas of the school.

...addressing the symptoms instead of the roots?
She gave an example of an organization wanting funding for victims of acid attacks.  It had become this huge issue in Cambodia, because people were using it as a weapon that lasts forever.  Acid won't kill you, just disfigure you and make your life miserable.  They wanted all this money to provide care for these victims, and she was able to direct some money to media and government to provide change for the root issue.  She was able to get the laws changed to more serious sentences and provide PSAs that made the attacks unacceptable for society.  Along with her partners, they were able to address the root of the cause and dramatically reduce the number of people needing this assistance.

...best interests of the beneficiary?
This one hit home for me.  Peace Corps became for me something that served my resume and my personal development far more than it did those around me.  It's not uncommon, I know, but I wonder sometimes why I really went overseas in the first place.  I lived, I learned, and I hope that a voluntourist would consider seriously what they are hoping to accomplish by spending a week volunteering in a world and a culture that they don't know very well.  Especially when it comes to building things or working with children... I, too, did Habitat for Humanity while in Cambodia, and I look back on that and laugh at the misery I was.  It was also April, the hottest month of the year, and we were out building houses with concrete.  How silly of me to think that I knew what I was doing more than the man who has built homes for 30 years.... And yet, there I was.  Consider this as well, please.

...community driven?
I'll redirect this one back to the piano.  And, actually, a positive story.  Peace Corps does teach you to ask for what your partners want and try your darndest to give it to them.  I noticed a need with the bathrooms, that the girls were having a rough go at school because they didn't have clean restrooms to use.  My brother, Phil, helped give the money that built the bathroom, and I would hope that it is still in working order and being used.  The school community wanted a fence around the tree, though.  I didn't build a fence around the tree.  I think back on that and really wonder... I wonder if the bathroom is locked up like the school books and the fence around the tree magically popped up with some money.  The VSOers, with money from the US government, built a pediatric center that looked pretty awesome though.  It was needed, and wanted, and driven by those who wanted it.

...registered?
Is it real?  Maybe that sounds like an odd one to you, but in this wild west that is SE Asia, it isn't that much of a stretch.  It's easy to lie here.  It's easy to find a place for money.

...exit strategy?
I had a bit of a beef with lots of NGOs in Cambodia with this.  This one looks at the long term goal of any organization, which likely should include something about being done.  They fixed the main problem, or dealt with the big issues, or trained up locals to take over completely.  The white folk (or the Japanese folk, or the whoever folk) shouldn't necessarily be living on their NGO salary for the rest of their days.  What is the endgame?  Or is there one?

...serving the greater good or individuals?
She gave an example of a school sending two bright on full scholarships to Oxford, and how that money could feed an entire village for the better part of the year.  This was also the main criticism of JPA, just so you are aware.

...other players in the similar field?
There are a multitude of education NGOs in Cambodia.  None (or few) of them work together.

...financially vulnerable/audit?
Where's the money coming from?  Where's it going?  I'll say, I began to get very suspicious of big NGOs in Cambodia... they often had the biggest, fanciest cars driving around the place with their logos stapled on.

...sustainable?
People love this word.  Love it.  And it means a couple of things.  How is the business running?  How is it funded?  Are they beginning to make their own money and need an injection like a start up?  Or is it entirely donation based?  One of those is more sustainable than the other one, usually, that is.  Is it a business that could last if some things were shaken up?  It is a business, right?

...Reporting?
They should be reporting.  Often.

...Religious?
My family in the village became Christian because there were opportunities they could access in the city.  She didn't usually support those organizations because there were requirements to benefit from the services.  I've seen a very good one, that I support, and some much less good ones, so I'm torn on the issues.

...Political?
Hopefully I don't have to explain that one.

...Emergency?
I thought of the scene in Clueless when she was telling us about this one.  Cher donates her skis for the Pismo Beach Disaster Relief.  Emergency giving is often fraught with chaos, amazingly unorganized.  Usually donations are hard to manage.  Plus, the real needs come about 6-8 months later, when the aid starts to run out and people are getting back to real life.

...Foreign staffed?
Hopefully they are training up local staff to take over.  If not, it may be something to consider.

...an orphanage?
Ms. Boudrie is very passionate about this issue.  She never supports orphanages, ever.  Ever.  EVER.  I agreed before her talk, and now I agree more.  The vast majority of "orphans" in Cambodia are not orphans, just kids from a poor home.  Sometimes they are made to perform on the street.  Sometimes they are begging on the street and giving the money to some sort of kingpin around the alley.  Most of them were convinced to come to the orphanage with promises, and the number of orphanages has grown in a very similar pattern to that of tourism.

There are worse stories.  My teacher friend told me a story of visiting an orphanage in Vietnam.  It was run by some white fellas, and her teacher friend (a man) took her and another gal to this other place to give some school supplies and stuffs to these kids.  The men asked him which kid he wanted to take.  And to make sure he had him back by Friday.  No foreigner, no tourist, no person without the proper clearances and paperwork and everything, should be taking care of children or visiting children in orphanages.  Can you imagine trying to visit an orphanage or a group home in America?  In Europe?  Why is it okay in Asia?  It's not okay.  It is never okay.  If you don't work with these particular children, you shouldn't be visiting them.  Period.  My school doesn't allow anyone on campus that doesn't belong.... the same should be true for any space where children are present.  This nonsense has to stop.  No More Orphanages.

I'm forcing myself to stop now.  Please, please consider what it is you are doing before you try to swing a hammer for "poor people" someplace else.  Instead, start at home, in a culture that you understand, support responsible trade and tourism, and if you have something valuable to share, like a skill, figure out how to teach it to some people.  But, please, don't assume that you are saving the world by spending a week working on things that you don't know how to do.  And please, evaluate and reflect on your choices to volunteer overseas before you barge into another country and someone's home like the colonists of old.  Show dignity by increasing development.

References:
Voluntourism