The Week Without Walls

View from my tent by the lake.

What an interesting week this has been.

This week, from Monday to Friday, I’ve been chaperoning a Week Without Walls fieldtrip, full of the Grade 8 class on a nature adventure.  This nature adventure began with camping, included some trekking, and ended with a farm and a cave.  There was plenty of bonding that came about as well.

It’s been a very thought provoking fieldtrip.  I’m watching affluent children try to rough it (with a fully stocked bathroom) and deal with tents and nature.  I’m also reading a very sharp book about Thailand that is highlighting several of the things I’m seeing with historical commentary about the guy in charge.

We cooked fish in this forest.

I’ll also say that I’m in the boomerang of life overseas.  When I started with Peace Corps, everything was absolutely glorious for a few months, but when the holidays (read: Thanksgiving) began showing up, I began to get a bit homesick.  Thanksgiving is about that time, when the shine begins to wear off and you start to understand the culture more.  I’m in that down slope, where I see more of the negatives than the positives.  I’m in that place where I can see the problems but can’t affect the solutions at school.  It’s the frustrating thing about living overseas, and it happens to just about everyone.

Our hotel was right next to this river.

It’s not like me to find so much negativity in life, but I’m working in a place that I’ve yet to understand.  I am finding it challenging to work within such affluence and wealth, within the confines of overprotective behavior.  I see it, I understand the premise, but I know what made me what I am today… and overprotectiveness is not it.  I’ve been reflecting more on what my middle and high school experience was like, so that I can find what worked for me to make me a successful human.  It was not overprotective, not ever.  I spent summers with grandma, off to camps here and there.  I spent time on my own, fending for myself after school.  I worked from a young age, in the fudge and coffee shop.  I made mistakes, felt the impact of consequences, and changed my behavior.

This cave was full of Buddhist idols.

I want these kids to have the same.  I want them to be functional humans, not using money to solve every problem.  I saw a beautiful thing yesterday along those lines as well.  We went to a school to let the kids interact with students from a different world than them.  At first, I must say, I was skeptical of the idea.  I think that these kinds of visits can go awry so quickly.  But, I was so pleasantly surprised.  Our kids played with those kids, talked, laughed, interacted.  It was lovely.  A few of them ended up in tears, and one of them mentioned that it was one of the first times that she actually felt as lucky as everyone said she was. 

I want those emotions for all of the students.  I want activities that bring that out for them.

I greatly enjoyed the cave.

But we are fighting such greater forces.  To get to that, we have to battle overprotective school policy and overprotective parentals.  We are fighting a karma based culture, that has entitlement written into merit from previous lives.  It makes me want to hit my head on the wall with frustration sometimes.  But, slowly, progress.

Slowly.  Very slowly.  And, until then, a frustration that is difficult to fight.  Until then, a boomerang that is on the negative side.  Until then, a hope for the different, a plan for change.

The cave was next to a monkey... something.  They liked bananas.

Long Time Coming + Loy Krathong

I recently received a letter from my grandpa that mentioned that he hadn't heard from me on the blog in awhile, from which he assumed I was insanely busy and unable to write.  That is incredibly true.  I have been wildly busy at work, often coming home late and resorting to stupid television because my brain was so worn out.  However, since I love getting mail (I think I get more mail abroad than at home) and love my grandpa, I wanted to put out a blog or two about what has been happening.

Let's see.... where to begin.

Well, I have taken over a grade 8 humanities classroom, teaching population geography, human rights, and migration, something that is right up my alley.  It has taken me a bit of time to get it all together, with the IB framework and the like.  However, I love it.  I love teaching the content and really enjoy seeing firsthand what a teacher is required to do in this type of classroom.  I'm getting to know the kids in grade 8 (more on that later) and getting a feel for what these kids can do.  It is incredibly valuable experience, and the opportunity arose when a coworker decided to leave school to take care of some personal business.  Right now I'm teaching population, and will love going into the next unit, about migration.  I knew that one day my sociology degree would come in handy.

That's the busy part; there was one week where I was looking for things every night until late.  I'm still searching for interesting takes on migration, on aid, on human rights, through TED talks and the like, but I enjoy the topic so much that none of it is a challenge.  I'm thrilled to be working on this.

Amidst this teaching, I'm still trying to stay on top of the librarian thing.  It is so much more my passion, and what I'm always trying to incorporate into the school.  To that end, just a week or two ago (I've lost all track of the time), I ran a research based meeting for all the teachers.  I was anxious the whole time, because it has always been difficult for me to speak in front of my peers, but the meeting went off without a hitch.  Honestly, I was proud of the work that I did and the learning that took place under my guidance.  I'm working on an application to be a workshop leader for the IB as well, and this was a trial run.  I'm quite excited.  What a way to learn about my craft with other librarians from other schools.   More details to follow as available.

How about culture, life, etc etc etc?

My Krathong, which I bought from the lovely woman who
sells ice cream from a shop near my house.

There was a festival not long ago called Loy Krathong.  From what I could tell, it is incredibly similar to Cambodia's Water Festival, one of my favorite holidays.  There were lanterns lit and small boats of banana leaves with candles and incense and a coin for luck set out into the lake or the river.

I really enjoyed myself.  I started out with some Japanese food at one of my favorite restaurants, Kyoto.  I actually ran into one of my coworkers there, Rich, and his wife Sapai, and their son Isaac.  Isaac is hilarious; he only smiles at strangers once in awhile, and he's finally warming up to me.

At the lake in my village, getting ready to set it afloat.

I went down to the lake to enjoy the atmosphere a bit, had an ice cream from the truck, and then lit my incense and set my boat afloat.  It's such a spiritual ceremony.  I saw a lot of families praying and setting their little Krathong afloat.  It's lovely, really, seeing all the boats and their candles and the glow of the incense on the lake.  Plus, unlike Cambodia, most of the Krathong are made with banana leaves as a base, meaning that the majority of the materials would be safe to leave in the water.  Our village cleaned up the lake afterward, but if that wasn't possible, it was generally no problem.

Kim releasing a lantern to help a guy struggling in the street.

I ran into Kim and his family, so we went to have a beer together at a local restaurant and sat and enjoyed the lake side view.  We saw lots of lanterns, lots of people enjoying the evening with their families, and generally just had a good time.  Kim even helped a struggling guy release his lantern.

Apparently, the lanterns were banned this year though.  Obviously that is completely enforced.  I wanted to try my hand with a lantern, so I bought one from a local vendor and tried to set it afire near to the lake (in much the same place as the picture).

Look at that beautiful lantern!

However, being the tall white woman that I am, I was stopped mid fire from my lantern releasing activities by a Thai policeman.  It is shockingly difficult to handle these lanterns.  They are made from a really delicate paper and have the fire source attached at the bottom with thin wire.  It was really hard to handle on my own, so the guy that sold it came across the street to help me.  When the cop stopped my fun time, the guy said something to the effect of, "Aw, come on, she's a foreigner."  I still don't speak Thai, but that's the jist that I got from him.  The cop smiled at me, patted out my fire, and I left uneventfully.  I did notice the plethora of English speakers, telling me that it was against the law and the cop was just doing his job.  I'm still unsure what to make of that, but that's the story.

I bought some sparklers and decided to give them to the
Buddha that I keep in my garden, watching over all the plants.

So, I went home (with my big paper lantern hanging off my bicycle), and lit my lantern with Rizza.  She didn't participate much, or hold the lantern while I lit it like I asked, but she was there, and I celebrated all my worries and cares floating into the air.

Then, I lit some sparklers and gave them to Buddha.

It was a pretty eventful Thursday.

Astrolabe (sic) Chart Woo Woo

I haven't the slightest clue what this means.

Aaron told me about this birth chart thing that he was impressed with.  Now I am impressed with it, despite really not believing in anything of the sort.  But really, I read it, and I was pretty darn impressed with what it said and how well it described me. Readings in italics, my response in regular text.

Rising Sign is in 24 Degrees Taurus ie... what others see in me and how I present myself.
Calm and deliberate, you hate to move quickly or act hastily. Very practical, every effort must count or you can't be bothered. Patient, persistent and steady, but very stubborn -- you can't be pushed or pressured into anything. You seem outwardly self-assured because you tend to repress your inner tension and turmoil. You exude an earthy warmth, friendliness and charm. You demand comfortable surroundings and appreciate the good life. Be careful of a tendency to be overly self-indulgent. At times, you are lazy and difficult to motivate. Overcoming inertia is a problem for you and, because you are not by nature a self-starter, it is often necessary for you to receive stimuli from others in order to get moving. 

Man, accurate.  Yesterday I went to look for a boxing bag, hung out in the store for at least an hour, and didn't buy the thing that I thought I wanted.  Persistent, check.  Stubborn, my mom will check.  Practical, absolutely.  Self-assured... I was a Stage Manager for years, and a librarian is a SM who works with books.  I'm indulgent with sugar, and ice cream, and things I want.  And absolutely do I need some intrinsic motivation to work hard.... luckily the library thing usually provides me with that.

Sun is in 15 Degrees Libra. ie... typically seen as libra things.
Very sociable, you enjoy being with others and definitely prefer not be alone. Warm and affectionate, you go out of your way to make others like you. You despise ugliness, for you being surrounded by beauty and harmony is a necessity of life. You prefer fine clothing, an attractive home and pleasant surroundings wherever you are. Your refined tastes apply to music and to art as well. At times, you are very indecisive you waver and falter when forced to make a choice because you have the ability to see both sides of any question. The positive part of this is that you are very fair-minded and can be trusted to settle disputes. Your greatest challenge is to take any one- on-one encounter and make the most of it. 

I could argue some of these, like often preferring people and fine clothing.  The beauty and harmony thing are absolutes, the art tastes also well suited.  Decisions... man... I'm a libra to the core.  

Moon is in 25 Degrees Sagittarius. ie... personality traits.
An idealist, you prefer the grand, the beautiful, the good and the noble. You get very disappointed when your high expectations in life are not met. Very curious by nature, you enjoy traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. Try to avoid your tendency to ignore the small but important details of living. You are independent and free, and you want others to be that way, too. Optimistic, buoyant and cheerful, others like to have you around. You have an incessant desire to learn as much as possible about metaphysics, religion, philosophy and any other broad, deep subject. Your life tends to be punctuated by bursts of energy and frenetic activity. 

Curious. Traveling. Peoples and Cultures. Independent. Optimistic. Learning. Jesus, they figured me out.

Mercury is in 07 Degrees Scorpio.
You are a born investigator. You are fascinated by secrets and mysteries and unanswered questions of any kind. When you become upset or angry, your emotional reactions are overpowering -- reason and logic disappear in an uncontrollable passionate outburst. You tend to keep your thoughts secret and bottled up and this makes others regard you with suspicion. It is not that you are trying purposely to be evasive, it is just that you would rather not deal with the explosions and hassles that often occur when you reveal your true feelings and opinions. Your sense of humor tends toward sarcasm and irony. 

I can see this.  I do have outbursts, and I often saw that as something that arose because I wasn't very good at dealing with conflict in any other way.  It takes a great deal of time before I get upset or angry, but when I do, I very much do.

Venus is in 19 Degrees Scorpio. 
Your feelings about others are deep, powerful, intense and complex. When you like someone, you do so totally and obsessively if you do not like someone, they do not exist. Your faithfulness and loyalty to your lover is unquestioned, indeed at times it is too much so -- you get so possessive that you almost smother your partner. At times, your feelings are kept deep within you and, because they are so complex and intense, they frighten you -- this is the way that you try to ignore them. But the more you try to do this, the more explosive things get when you eventually do express them. 

Hm.  It frightens me to believe these things, though I've seen it before.  I dated a few guys who were freaked out at my emotions, and I have learned to repress them.  With Aaron, I find myself liking him so much that I can't see anything else.  In fact, I've told him recently that it has been somewhat beneficial to be overseas.  I am more focused on my job because he is so far away, and I am able to take what I like about him and put it in a box while I'm here.  I don't find myself possessive, however.  I just like having him around.

Mars is in 00 Degrees Aquarius. 
Your ideas and opinions are usually inventive and original, but sometimes they are merely eccentric and offbeat. You are altruistic -- you will work hard for the attainment of group goals, as long as they meet your high standards. You tend to resent traditional authority figures because you think that your ideas are better thought out and more valuable than theirs. Very idealistic, you are a rebel WITH a cause! 

High standards.  Yes. Altruistic, more before Peace Corps.  The thing about authority figures makes me laugh... it's so accurate I have trouble expressing it.  

Jupiter is in 14 Degrees Pisces. 
You are at your best when you give of yourself and what you have -- try to avoid being a martyr about it, though. You're a true idealist, but you must learn not to be upset when life does not cooperate with the way you think things should be. Very concerned with spiritual truth and growth, when you practice what you preach, you make an excellent role model for others. You are so devoted to altruistic ventures and concerns that you tire easily at times. It then becomes necessary for you to go off by yourself to recharge your batteries. 

I suppose my teaching could be considered altruistic.  That word does bother me, though.  I hope these things are true of me; I find them beautiful expressions of what I seek to be.

Saturn is in 06 Degrees Sagittarius. 
Basically quite conservative, you respect traditional authority figures and are very thankful and supportive of the laws and institutions which govern your life. You learn and accept new ideas only after having very thoroughly examined them. Ideals and abstract concepts are important to you only if they can be used in some practical fashion. You are so practical and so orderly that you have natural skills in planning, administrating and organizing. 

It's a bit odd to consider this authority thing with the other, and to consider the value of laws when I lived in Cambodia, but I see the benefit.  I am grateful when things work out.

Uranus is in 19 Degrees Sagittarius. 
You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world. 

TED talks.  Truth.

Neptune is in 03 Degrees Capricorn. 
You, and your entire generation, will idealize work, practicality and the ability to attain reasonable goals. But, because you will also stress the need to be selfless and giving, you may find it difficult to attain your goals unless you have lowered your expectations on all fronts. 

Depressing, though accurate.  I do find it attractive to think of goals that are reachable and valid.  I absolute value practicality and the ability to work for something.  While I'm not sure of my generation's ideas of it, I think that working towards a goal should often be a part of my daily life.

Pluto is in 06 Degrees Scorpio. 
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search. 

Cool.

N. Node is in 20 Degrees Aries. 
You're at your most comfortable when involved in group activities outside of your immediate family circle. You delight in getting involved with others in neighborhood civic or political activities, especially if you can be a part of the leadership of the group. Your zeal and overabundant energy bring out your real creativity when you can work toward tangible results -- things that will immediately benefit those around you. You have a real gift for getting the most out of charity drives and community benefits. Take time out between projects though, because you tire out easily and your effectiveness becomes greatly diminished when your energy is depleted. Also, don't even think of trying to get involved at a peripheral level -- you need a total commitment to feel personally fulfilled. Let others bake the cookies and set up the chairs -- you should be the one to tell everyone what to do and when to do it! 

Not sure how to respond to this, but my ideas on charity in this moment in time are not very positive.  Especially because I live in this part of the world, I find charity and community service to be an odd, poorly considered thing.  I'm still working on this, of course, but I hope to find a cause to support.

The Pope, and his guide to happiness!

I like this pope.  This pope is neat.

In latest interview, Pope Francis reveals top 10 secrets to happiness

Posted from Carol Glatz, Catholic News Service

VATICAN CITY (CNS) -- Slowing down, being generous and fighting for peace are part of Pope Francis' secret recipe for happiness.

In an interview published in part in the Argentine weekly "Viva" July 27, the pope listed his Top 10 tips for bringing greater joy to one's life:

1. "Live and let live." Everyone should be guided by this principle, he said, which has a similar expression in Rome with the saying, "Move forward and let others do the same."

2. "Be giving of yourself to others." People need to be open and generous toward others, he said, because "if you withdraw into yourself, you run the risk of becoming egocentric. And stagnant water becomes putrid."

3. "Proceed calmly" in life. The pope, who used to teach high school literature, used an image from an Argentine novel by Ricardo Guiraldes, in which the protagonist -- gaucho Don Segundo Sombra -- looks back on how he lived his life.

"He says that in his youth he was a stream full of rocks that he carried with him; as an adult, a rushing river; and in old age, he was still moving, but slowly, like a pool" of water, the pope said. He said he likes this latter image of a pool of water -- to have "the ability to move with kindness and humility, a calmness in life."

4. "A healthy sense of leisure." The pleasures of art, literature and playing together with children have been lost, he said.

"Consumerism has brought us anxiety" and stress, causing people to lose a "healthy culture of leisure." Their time is "swallowed up" so people can't share it with anyone. Even though many parents work long hours, they must set aside time to play with their children; work schedules make it "complicated, but you must do it," he said.  Families must also turn off the TV when they sit down to eat because, even though television is useful for keeping up with the news, having it on during mealtime "doesn't let you communicate" with each other, the pope said.

5. Sundays should be holidays. Workers should have Sundays off because "Sunday is for family," he said.

6. Find innovative ways to create dignified jobs for young people. "We need to be creative with young people. If they have no opportunities they will get into drugs" and be more vulnerable to suicide, he said.  "It's not enough to give them food," he said. "Dignity is given to you when you can bring food home" from one's own labor.

7. Respect and take care of nature. Environmental degradation "is one of the biggest challenges we have," he said. "I think a question that we're not asking ourselves is: 'Isn't humanity committing suicide with this indiscriminate and tyrannical use of nature?'"

8. Stop being negative. "Needing to talk badly about others indicates low self-esteem. That means, 'I feel so low that instead of picking myself up I have to cut others down,'" the pope said. "Letting go of negative things quickly is healthy."

9. Don't proselytize; respect others' beliefs. "We can inspire others through witness so that one grows together in communicating. But the worst thing of all is religious proselytism, which paralyzes: 'I am talking with you in order to persuade you,' No. Each person dialogues, starting with his and her own identity. The church grows by attraction, not proselytizing," the pope said.

10. Work for peace. "We are living in a time of many wars," he said, and "the call for peace must be shouted. Peace sometimes gives the impression of being quiet, but it is never quiet, peace is always proactive" and dynamic.

Kelsey's words:
There is much that we can take from this.  I really respect the pope, in a way that before hasn't felt as crucial.  This pope, with his simple clothing and his respect for all people, is leading with such a strong example.  In my quest for happiness and a fulfilling life, I can certainly take some of his cues into my own example.  I'm not sure about the dignified jobs, or the proselytizing, but the rest are all things I can fold into my own life.

In this, the beginning of my habits in BKK, I think I can keep these in mind as I proceed.  I am particularly interested in the idea of proceeding calmly through life.  I have been so excited recently about this transformation and this movement.  It's been very hard to focus and place my attention on just one thing.  I'm sure my blogs seem disjointed, or at least they do to me.  And so, I read, take into account the advice, and log it away.  I want to be the calm water, though, for those around me.  And this I will work on.

Slowly but surely, onward.