A Moscow Update!

It's been quite some time since I've written a blog, so I wanted to give some updates about the everyday things (and the small, but special things) that are happening. I feel so comfortable in my life here in Moscow, and my life doesn't feel much like an adventure.  Alas, here's some updates for your enjoyment.

It's a balmy 30 degrees outside, although there is some freezing rain that is making everything glassy.  The first day of spring has arrived, and hopefully will be showing up in the next two months.

Rizza staring pensively at Russian hat.

My average week looks something like this.
Wake up every day around 6, and on the bus to school around 7.
Get to school, have some breakfast in the cafeteria (usually oatmeal and smoothies).
Work all day (which means library classes and reading for the little people, getting some projects done, answering emails, possibly going into a high school class)
Get home around 5, sometimes earlier, sometimes later.
I eat dinner, which is usually fish, veggies, and always spinach that I fry with garlic.  And, I usually finish dinner with a grapefruit.

Grapefruits in my window.

Monday this week, I went to the grocery store.
Tuesday and Thursday I will have a skype call when I get home and then go to dance.
Wednesday, I have plans to cook some granola.

Dance is excellent, and I spend one hour or two hours stretching and working out with a mixture of ballet, pilates, yoga, and some of the special tricks that our teacher (Katya) comes up with.  Last week, I sat next to friends in the class and she pulled a teacher on me.... saying that if we couldn't be quiet, that she would move us apart.  To be fair, the class hadn't started yet, and also, I laughed with another friend when she had an unexpected spill on her mat.

I've also been cooking a ton.  Most recently, I made some granola that I'm pretty thrilled with, and have a plan to try a new recipe this week.  I've made a green curry with vegetables that is one of my standard evening dishes.  And, I've made chili garlic mushrooms, which is not something that I thought I would ever cook, but turned out almost too spicy to eat (aka delicious).  This week, I've bought a butternut squash that I'm going to try with tahini, so that will be an experiment in the making.

This week, some mail came, and Rizza got a Valentine.

XXXXX, Love, Gammy

This last weekend was pretty busy, full of activities.

On Thursday, there was a Peace Corps event hosted by a couple at the US Embassy.  It was to celebrate the birthday of Peace Corps by bringing together all the Peace Corps people in Moscow.  It was quite a high number of people, maybe 25?  Three of us work together at the school, and the rest work in the state department here, which is a massive employer.  There were folks who had served in Russia, in Malaysia, in Cameroon, all over the place.  We had all the continents represented, with the exception of the Pacific Islands.  And overall, it was a really nice time.  I talked about food with some other volunteers, and heard some war stories.  My service was a walk in the park compared to some.

On Friday, we had a final Broomball party, hosted at the German Embassy.  It was themed and costumed with all the German food one could ask for.  I celebrated with my team, and took the stage to accept the gold medals with the other Chicks.  A fuller blog about the magic of Broomball will be forthcoming.

On Saturday, I slept in some (because broomball no longer takes my mornings), and found myself at a Vietnamese restaurant in the city before I went to the opera with a friend of mine.  She is, in fact, the same friend that fell over in dance not too long ago.  Nastia is lovely, and she accepted my invite to see Tosca at the Stanislasky theatre, which is royal blue everywhere.

Nastia and I in the opera, looking classy.

And on Sunday, I rested.  All the resting happened, and I made some scrabble tile coasters and finished my book.

Other big-ish things that have happened recently?

Maslenitsa Happened

Maslenitsa is a huge Russian holiday, the week that precedes Lent.  It is traditionally celebrated with blini (pancakes), more blini, and yet more blini.  Blini for every day of the week, with a special person or persons sharing in their blini bounty for the family.  From what I've been able to gather, it is a mixture between the Orthodox tradition of Lent and enjoying all the food you can before you observe the fasting tradition... and the pagan coming of spring.  Because, in addition to eating all the pancakes you could ever eat, with sweet and savory fillings, you also fill an effigy of a woman with straw and set her on fire.

So, our effigy of a woman lived in the school for a solid week, and then on Friday afternoon, we all went out to the courtyard and watched as some Russian performers took a torch and set her on fire.  It was, all in all, pretty thrilling a moment.  I do feel as though spring has sprung because we set lady winter on fire. In fact, when I came back from break, I found it to be quite mild.  There was less ice than usual!

I had a taste of dog sledding.  

Ready to Run!

The school organized a short trip to a town not far away, just a few hours.  Me and some of my colleagues took the journey out into a realer Russian, the non-Moscow Russia.  Moscow is absolutely an island.  So, we went out, and found a little patch of forest behind a bunch of dachas (country houses).  We walked about a kilometer to a piece of land in the middle of the forest, and there was a warm bonfire, and some coffee and snacks.  AND..... a whole bunch of beautiful huskies, all tied up and yipping.

The First Glipse.

We settled in, and learned our dog sledding lesson from the man in charge.  The sled has two places to keep your feet, and you have to gracefully step on them and off the brake when the dogs start moving.  This is more challenging than it might seem.  We sat around the fire and chatted with one another, waiting as our party all took their turns.  The man would take you ahead on the snow mobile as your partner would ride on the dog sled, and then it would return back to the fire.  In between rides, they would put snow on the puppies to cool them down!

Beautiful and Warm Fire

When it was my turn, I rode the snowmobile first, which honestly I could have done all day.  It was amazingly entertaining and quick.  And then, we got the dogs turned around and I got on the sled.  It was brisk and chilly, and the wind was in my face.  The dogs were so loud when we were stopped, but as soon as they started running, there was blissful silence.  It was almost like sailing, where you only hear nature from a certain place.  I will say, my fingers got chilly, and I could see how any long lengths would be slightly uncomfortable.

So tired from all the work!

But. At the end of the ride, when we were all done, we got to feed them hot dogs, and that was a beautiful moment.  I had prepared all these little hot dog pieces and they hopped up and snapped them out of the air all graceful like when I tossed them.

Russia!

After the sledding journey, we took a few minutes to walk to the nearby cathedral and on the wall, seeing some of the real Russia.  We happened upon a wedding party, with all the girls in short dresses in the chilly, chilly weather.  As we walked around, we saw them posing in various spots, taking photos.  At the end of our walk, we saw them taking a cigarette break, sharing the cigarette even.  So sweet, that was.

A Hockey Game, part 2.

I had been to a hockey game previously, but I enjoyed a second one recently as well.

This game took place at the CSKA arena, which is just a few metro stops from my house.  The security to get in is pretty intense, as it is most places, but I got in with ease.  This game, we were a bigger group, and cheering for a family friend.  One of my colleagues has a nephew (cousin??) who plays hockey for the Russian leagues.  They don't know each other so well, being so distant and all, but since he was down to play in Moscow, we decided to join the match.

On the ice.

 The entertainment was in the variety of music, from American pop to rap, to Russian national classics, to anything else you could imagine.  All of this with the beautiful women dancing in the background.

They filed in so silently.

During the 1st to 2nd period switch, the lights went down for an ice skater (who couldn't have been more than 10) to perform.  And, when the lights came up again for the game, there was an entire army corps in the section next to us.  Not one of us saw them come in, and all of a sudden, the whole thing was full.  They were pretty silent the first few minutes, but eventually started to cheer a bit.

The Week Without Walls

View from my tent by the lake.

What an interesting week this has been.

This week, from Monday to Friday, I’ve been chaperoning a Week Without Walls fieldtrip, full of the Grade 8 class on a nature adventure.  This nature adventure began with camping, included some trekking, and ended with a farm and a cave.  There was plenty of bonding that came about as well.

It’s been a very thought provoking fieldtrip.  I’m watching affluent children try to rough it (with a fully stocked bathroom) and deal with tents and nature.  I’m also reading a very sharp book about Thailand that is highlighting several of the things I’m seeing with historical commentary about the guy in charge.

We cooked fish in this forest.

I’ll also say that I’m in the boomerang of life overseas.  When I started with Peace Corps, everything was absolutely glorious for a few months, but when the holidays (read: Thanksgiving) began showing up, I began to get a bit homesick.  Thanksgiving is about that time, when the shine begins to wear off and you start to understand the culture more.  I’m in that down slope, where I see more of the negatives than the positives.  I’m in that place where I can see the problems but can’t affect the solutions at school.  It’s the frustrating thing about living overseas, and it happens to just about everyone.

Our hotel was right next to this river.

It’s not like me to find so much negativity in life, but I’m working in a place that I’ve yet to understand.  I am finding it challenging to work within such affluence and wealth, within the confines of overprotective behavior.  I see it, I understand the premise, but I know what made me what I am today… and overprotectiveness is not it.  I’ve been reflecting more on what my middle and high school experience was like, so that I can find what worked for me to make me a successful human.  It was not overprotective, not ever.  I spent summers with grandma, off to camps here and there.  I spent time on my own, fending for myself after school.  I worked from a young age, in the fudge and coffee shop.  I made mistakes, felt the impact of consequences, and changed my behavior.

This cave was full of Buddhist idols.

I want these kids to have the same.  I want them to be functional humans, not using money to solve every problem.  I saw a beautiful thing yesterday along those lines as well.  We went to a school to let the kids interact with students from a different world than them.  At first, I must say, I was skeptical of the idea.  I think that these kinds of visits can go awry so quickly.  But, I was so pleasantly surprised.  Our kids played with those kids, talked, laughed, interacted.  It was lovely.  A few of them ended up in tears, and one of them mentioned that it was one of the first times that she actually felt as lucky as everyone said she was. 

I want those emotions for all of the students.  I want activities that bring that out for them.

I greatly enjoyed the cave.

But we are fighting such greater forces.  To get to that, we have to battle overprotective school policy and overprotective parentals.  We are fighting a karma based culture, that has entitlement written into merit from previous lives.  It makes me want to hit my head on the wall with frustration sometimes.  But, slowly, progress.

Slowly.  Very slowly.  And, until then, a frustration that is difficult to fight.  Until then, a boomerang that is on the negative side.  Until then, a hope for the different, a plan for change.

The cave was next to a monkey... something.  They liked bananas.

Conflict

Today, I re-realized that I am not skilled in dealing with and managing conflict.  In fact, I would consider it one of my weaker (if not my weakest) skill.

The conflict I'm dealing with today isn't even that serious.  Someone asked me to do something that isn't possible given my situation.  I don't want to go into great deal given my fear of things ending up in the wrong hands.  I was being asked to do something, and it isn't going to happen.  I feel slightly bad at the circumstances, but I was also put into an unpleasant situation.

Either way, I psyched myself up to tell this person I wasn't able to do it.  I got a pep talk from my friend, and walked over to deliver the news in person since I got an email about it in the morning.  It stresses me out in a very serious way to have these kinds of conversations.  Well, to have these conversations with certain people.  The person in question is typically passive aggressive, and I've been visiting with many more loud and boisterous people recently.  I told her, and she didn't say a word back to me.

It takes me back, to the day that I told my former roommates I was leaving their house.  That was a considerably more stressful situation, with a similar reaction.  The girl roommate sat, looked at her computer, and only spoke one time, angrily, nastily.  I was upset for weeks at the things that she said to me, the way she treated me.  I chose to live there because of the friendship that we had, and it bothered me to find out how little I was valued as a person.  Honestly, that's a tiny percentage of the strife I felt in that house.

Today, this person stared at the computer and didn't look at me when I told her that I couldn't comply with her request.  I do feel bad, but I will not feel that bad.  The request is not unreasonable, and normally I would be happy to help, but my denial is also not unreasonable given the situation at hand.  The trouble that I have is in the delivery.  I am upset at this passive aggressive treatment.

The problem is that I, too, am sometimes passive aggressive, or at least I avoid conflict at every turn.  I would have preferred to email this response, but I felt unsure about documenting it.  I would have preferred a different ending with the roommates, but that also didn't happen.  It is hard for me to approach an issue and I want to improve in this.

At this point, my goal is to ask her politely what I've done to warrant this type of treatment.  Politely, of course, approaching it as something that I'd like to resolve professionally.  I have such an opportunity in this school to do things very well and go very far, and I don't want to have anything standing in my path as I work here.  It is a phenomenal school, with great support.  I'm incredibly grateful to Kim at this point, for the advice that he's imparted on me.

We figured out that I've some trauma associated with this active ignoring.  I'd like to heal myself of this with time.  One step at a time, I will.

An Alternate Universe

View from the morning.  I find that windows have a
big impact on me.

I feel as though I've entered an alternate universe.  At this exact moment, I'm sitting on a hanging chair, lounging outside on one of the most peaceful porches I've ever seen.  I'm listening to the sounds of nature, a whole cacophony of noises: frogs and insects and the things one hears in some tropical rain-forest.

I was fortunate enough to be invited to this IB retreat, a school event that takes all of the grade 12's to Khao Yai, to a resort outside the national park.  The purpose is to give the students a dedicated space and place to kick off this intensive year by presenting the work that they've done on their extended essays, a 4,000 word paper due in February.  I was invited by chance I think, to get a feel for the research that the students need to do within the next few months.  I heard several presentations today, and the work is going to be intense and interesting.  I am using the time to get to know the kids a bit better as well, because that's how good teachers operate.

I have never seen this honeycomb set up before.

We've also had some time for fun, though.  Part of the fun here is relaxing in this peaceful atmosphere.  It's a massive place, a sprawling complex full of beauty.  There is no place to turn where you aren't looking at something green and naturally gorgeous.  There's a view of the mountains and the lake from where breakfast is served.  You could get lost in the pathways from place to place... and the pool is phenomenal.  Salt water, massive.  It's stunning, the whole place.

There's also the food.  We've had these delicious Thai dishes every meal, with a variety of flavors.  They finish with cut mango and fresh fruit, and rivers of tea.  I can't say enough about it.  The breakfast... well, anyone who knows me knows my affinity for breakfast food.  There was an entire room devoted to it, which of course I went to early given the circumstances.  There was even a whole honeycomb that dripped into a dish.

Can't go wrong with a place that has cats roaming.

I learned later that there was also a mini-zoo, which turns out was an odd collection of creatures.  One deer, among chickens and peacocks.  Some goats... with peacocks.  Some ducks... with other odd ducks.  It was hilarious to see the menagerie that they had created.  Plus.  There was a man who helped out there, who had some sunflower seeds (and later corn) that he fed these beautiful birds with.  Then, he gave me some seeds and the birds came onto my hand!  Words couldn't express how overjoyed I was.  I was smiling like a mad fool.  I kept walking and found some gardens, which was equally awesome.  I may have to go back tomorrow to get a plant for my garden.  They were really inexpensive plants.  Curious given the fact that it's near a five star hotel thing.

Posers.

I also had a massage, which turned into something of a Thai lesson, with this funny Thai ladies trying to teach this silly white girl some phrases.  It also is getting to the end (and very dramatic part) of GoT Book 5, so I was exclaiming at the kindle and getting some good laughs from the ladies that way as well.

I have to take a moment and acknowledge this place that I'm in.  Just a few weeks ago I was stressing every moment about money, unable to sleep for the worry I had.  And here I am, in this fancy place, playing like I have hundred of dollars for hotel rooms every night.  It really makes me think about this life that I live, and the places that I can go with this school.  I'm grateful that I've had this opportunity, and hopefully will have it for more years to come.  It's such a step outside the bounds that I've experienced.  It's such a different life from the different ones I've led over the years.  I wonder about its impact with the simple life that I'm aiming for as well.  This weekend, I haven't turned on the television, or had telephone service.  I read my book.  I ate my food and talked.  It's been simple.  Very simple.  Though this life is very different, very privileged.  I'm unfamiliar with it all, still taking it all in.

The JOY. These birds have got a fine day of food.

I had another thought as well today.  I was watching these student presentations, about everything from a natural curing tree to Korean film to Devil Wears Prada.  There were so many topics that I had such minuscule background information on.  I thought to myself that I needed to read more, and more often, to pick up some of the slack the summer has left on my brain.  There are things I need more experience with, and books can bring me there.  Reading opens those doors, and I need them all wide now.  I'm nearly finished with Game of Thrones, and then.... all doors are open for more reading.

Voluntourism

When I was at the IB conference in Singapore, I was fortunate enough to listen to a talk from Tessa Boudrie, a woman who has been working as a social worker in Asia for years and years.  She currently runs a business that connects philanthropists with philanthropic opportunities, in Asia, and was speaking on choosing a good organization for the school to support.  She's a consultant, which has become a much needed business in this world that I now live in.  She worked in Cambodia, and gave several examples of this in her talk, in Burma, in Singapore, in Hong Kong, all over.  The talk was... phenomenal.  She laid her talk out in bullet points and examples; how should one choose an organization?  Look for this and this and this, else this and this is likely happening.

Voluntourism, which is volunteering for short stints of time in a foreign country, is a relatively new idea, and one that is catching on quickly.  There are organizations that provide short trips for students, for church groups, for adults, for anyone, for any amount of time.  Sometimes people pick up activities that are philanthropic while they visit another country.  I know people who've done that as well.  It's everywhere at this point, especially in countries with less infrastructure, like Cambodia.

There are huge implications for this.  Huge.  And so, here I write, hoping that the mind of at least one soul will be opened up.  I heard the talk, and noted the concerns, and thought a week, and edited more.  I'm very torn on this issue, torn on the things that I've seen and heard and experienced.  I volunteered throughout high school, throughout college; I was a Peace Corps Volunteer.  Now, I'm working through some intense reflection and looking through a different lens.  I'm going to go through my notes on her presentation, and present them to you.  She had examples, and I have examples, and it will be a big mash up of the two.  She put into clear words and phrases the things that I was beginning to grasp onto as I worked and lived in Cambodia.

We need to think about the differences between development and charity.  Development, where we help someone improve something about their life, something that they've identified they could change with a little help... and Charity, giving things to others.  That's the drive behind this.

Is the organization....

...needs based?
I saw this so often.  One day while I was working at school, an electric piano appeared on the doorstep.  It was a gift from the Korean government, part of an initiative to get Cambodian kids to enjoy playing music more.  There were a few problems with this idea.  One, there was no electricity to plug this piano into.  The school had no such thing.  Two, what teacher is going to lead a kid through this discovery?  None of our teachers knew how to play the piano.  I could tap a few keys into a melody from having a computer, but I can't well do that without electricity.  Three, any and all valuable (including school books) were usually kept locked up... when was this theoretical child meant to learn this?  They were answering an idea from their own lips, not the ideas of the school.

...addressing the symptoms instead of the roots?
She gave an example of an organization wanting funding for victims of acid attacks.  It had become this huge issue in Cambodia, because people were using it as a weapon that lasts forever.  Acid won't kill you, just disfigure you and make your life miserable.  They wanted all this money to provide care for these victims, and she was able to direct some money to media and government to provide change for the root issue.  She was able to get the laws changed to more serious sentences and provide PSAs that made the attacks unacceptable for society.  Along with her partners, they were able to address the root of the cause and dramatically reduce the number of people needing this assistance.

...best interests of the beneficiary?
This one hit home for me.  Peace Corps became for me something that served my resume and my personal development far more than it did those around me.  It's not uncommon, I know, but I wonder sometimes why I really went overseas in the first place.  I lived, I learned, and I hope that a voluntourist would consider seriously what they are hoping to accomplish by spending a week volunteering in a world and a culture that they don't know very well.  Especially when it comes to building things or working with children... I, too, did Habitat for Humanity while in Cambodia, and I look back on that and laugh at the misery I was.  It was also April, the hottest month of the year, and we were out building houses with concrete.  How silly of me to think that I knew what I was doing more than the man who has built homes for 30 years.... And yet, there I was.  Consider this as well, please.

...community driven?
I'll redirect this one back to the piano.  And, actually, a positive story.  Peace Corps does teach you to ask for what your partners want and try your darndest to give it to them.  I noticed a need with the bathrooms, that the girls were having a rough go at school because they didn't have clean restrooms to use.  My brother, Phil, helped give the money that built the bathroom, and I would hope that it is still in working order and being used.  The school community wanted a fence around the tree, though.  I didn't build a fence around the tree.  I think back on that and really wonder... I wonder if the bathroom is locked up like the school books and the fence around the tree magically popped up with some money.  The VSOers, with money from the US government, built a pediatric center that looked pretty awesome though.  It was needed, and wanted, and driven by those who wanted it.

...registered?
Is it real?  Maybe that sounds like an odd one to you, but in this wild west that is SE Asia, it isn't that much of a stretch.  It's easy to lie here.  It's easy to find a place for money.

...exit strategy?
I had a bit of a beef with lots of NGOs in Cambodia with this.  This one looks at the long term goal of any organization, which likely should include something about being done.  They fixed the main problem, or dealt with the big issues, or trained up locals to take over completely.  The white folk (or the Japanese folk, or the whoever folk) shouldn't necessarily be living on their NGO salary for the rest of their days.  What is the endgame?  Or is there one?

...serving the greater good or individuals?
She gave an example of a school sending two bright on full scholarships to Oxford, and how that money could feed an entire village for the better part of the year.  This was also the main criticism of JPA, just so you are aware.

...other players in the similar field?
There are a multitude of education NGOs in Cambodia.  None (or few) of them work together.

...financially vulnerable/audit?
Where's the money coming from?  Where's it going?  I'll say, I began to get very suspicious of big NGOs in Cambodia... they often had the biggest, fanciest cars driving around the place with their logos stapled on.

...sustainable?
People love this word.  Love it.  And it means a couple of things.  How is the business running?  How is it funded?  Are they beginning to make their own money and need an injection like a start up?  Or is it entirely donation based?  One of those is more sustainable than the other one, usually, that is.  Is it a business that could last if some things were shaken up?  It is a business, right?

...Reporting?
They should be reporting.  Often.

...Religious?
My family in the village became Christian because there were opportunities they could access in the city.  She didn't usually support those organizations because there were requirements to benefit from the services.  I've seen a very good one, that I support, and some much less good ones, so I'm torn on the issues.

...Political?
Hopefully I don't have to explain that one.

...Emergency?
I thought of the scene in Clueless when she was telling us about this one.  Cher donates her skis for the Pismo Beach Disaster Relief.  Emergency giving is often fraught with chaos, amazingly unorganized.  Usually donations are hard to manage.  Plus, the real needs come about 6-8 months later, when the aid starts to run out and people are getting back to real life.

...Foreign staffed?
Hopefully they are training up local staff to take over.  If not, it may be something to consider.

...an orphanage?
Ms. Boudrie is very passionate about this issue.  She never supports orphanages, ever.  Ever.  EVER.  I agreed before her talk, and now I agree more.  The vast majority of "orphans" in Cambodia are not orphans, just kids from a poor home.  Sometimes they are made to perform on the street.  Sometimes they are begging on the street and giving the money to some sort of kingpin around the alley.  Most of them were convinced to come to the orphanage with promises, and the number of orphanages has grown in a very similar pattern to that of tourism.

There are worse stories.  My teacher friend told me a story of visiting an orphanage in Vietnam.  It was run by some white fellas, and her teacher friend (a man) took her and another gal to this other place to give some school supplies and stuffs to these kids.  The men asked him which kid he wanted to take.  And to make sure he had him back by Friday.  No foreigner, no tourist, no person without the proper clearances and paperwork and everything, should be taking care of children or visiting children in orphanages.  Can you imagine trying to visit an orphanage or a group home in America?  In Europe?  Why is it okay in Asia?  It's not okay.  It is never okay.  If you don't work with these particular children, you shouldn't be visiting them.  Period.  My school doesn't allow anyone on campus that doesn't belong.... the same should be true for any space where children are present.  This nonsense has to stop.  No More Orphanages.

I'm forcing myself to stop now.  Please, please consider what it is you are doing before you try to swing a hammer for "poor people" someplace else.  Instead, start at home, in a culture that you understand, support responsible trade and tourism, and if you have something valuable to share, like a skill, figure out how to teach it to some people.  But, please, don't assume that you are saving the world by spending a week working on things that you don't know how to do.  And please, evaluate and reflect on your choices to volunteer overseas before you barge into another country and someone's home like the colonists of old.  Show dignity by increasing development.

References:
Voluntourism

Sing Sing (Sing?)

Moi over near the famous Quay

It is my first week settled into Bangkok, so of course I get set on a Professional Development Workshop in Singapore.  Honestly, I can't complain... All the details were settled for me and I just had to show up and be awake!

It was extremely beneficial; I feel more settled and more adventurous, in a much more appropriate headspace.  But, allow me to begin from the beginning.

I've really been struggling to stay asleep the whole night.  The stresses of daily life have been getting to me, I think, and it's been quite a challenge to get a full night's rest.  The night before I left (Wednesday) was no different.  I didn't really pack anything that night, and ended up wide awake around 4:30, putting together my very small case.  I headed over to Kim's on the borrowed bicycle with my big backpack (computer included) and little duffel, and went off to school to waste a few hours before noon.  We checked in, got reentry stamps at the airport, and had a quick snack before finding our way to the terminal.

View from dinner: Boats on the river taking tourists around.

The flight was ... beautiful.  Two glasses of wine and a full meal with my movie (The Grand Budapest Hotel) on a two hour flight.  Americans... you don't understand what you're missing here.  And there was a sign at the airport for us, because we're classy.  And the hotel?  Beautiful in the hotel way.  I almost wrote a blog post about how weird I think hotels are, but I lost the time for it and I'm no longer interested.  It was all about how I nearly killed myself getting out of the shower and how shiny tile is dangerous for clumsy chicks like myself.  Plus.  Do I really require 6 toothbrushes over the course of my stay?  And.  Jacuzzis shouldn't be cold.  Oh.  And despite being free, I was a bit disappointed in breakfast.

PSA: Sing Sing's a bit pricey.

Friday morning was a full day.  Session after session after tea after session after lunch and before coffee and snack.  It was packed, absolutely packed.  In fact, all the days were.  There were rivers of coffee and hot water for tea, piles of snacks and fruit, and an absolutely delightful lunch of Indian fare.  And sessions, lots of sessions.  I got tips about IB, about the lingo, about teaching in the contexts, and just got a clear picture of the types of things that I can (and will) do with this opportunity.  After all, I have this brand new position, and it will be what I make of it.  I'm the MYP and DP librarian, and there has never been one before.  I'm relatively intelligent, and I can do some good things.  The conference really helped me figure out some sort of plan that I may have in the next few years as well.  I have a mentor at school that could help me access a positive role within IB as an organization, so I'm thinking about the types of things that could happen here.  Things are happening.  Quickly!

Forgive the terrible shot, but a guy like this was on my
favorite web site.   Source Here.

We luckily had a little bit of time to enjoy the city beyond the walls of the school.  On Friday night, Erin and I went down to Clarke Quay, which is this huge open air market and food district.  There must have been every single type of cuisine there; we walked past restaurants of every kind before we settled on a Vietnamese place that had a pretty overlook of the river.  It was very nice, with cool weather and delicious food and lots of people to view.  I had this delicious spicy pho bo, a huge bowl of noodles and thick brown broth.  I also picked up a neat pair of earrings (because anyone who knows me knows my inability to resist such a treasure).

It's pretty in Chinatown!

On Saturday, we found our way to Chinatown, which, actually was where we were heading the night before when the river distracted us and took us off course.  When we found it, we found it.  It is unmistakable in its culture.  I admired that immediately.  Singapore has a very interesting feel to it; it's very clean, and almost sterile in its lack of things bold and daring.  Chinatown was bustling from the minute we crossed the street into it.  There were people everywhere, a ton of life, and smells and things to see for streets and streets.  There were tons of vendors, people selling souvenirs and Chinese medicine and name writing supplies, plus more and more.  There was a whole street of food, and we stopped for Chinese, drinking some Chinese tea, and having bok choi and sweet and sour pork.  It reminded me of the Chinese place in Phnom Penh that we used to go to as PCVs.

Chinatown is super lively.  This barely captures it.

There was more walking around Chinatown before we collapsed into the sauna at the hotel and finally found our way to bed.  I bought a magnet as a souvenir.  Also some post cards.

On our final day, there were more connections, more foods, more sessions, before we caught a taxi to the airport (like true jetsetters) and got onto the plane.  I found a post office to mail the things I had been carrying around for almost two weeks (stressor revealed) and it was incredibly cheap.  So, off went a care package for Aaron and his house and my mom (though hers was less thrilling).  On the plane, more wine, more food, more TV.

The blur works for me.  Chinatown.

I felt a difference in myself as well.  I learned all weekend.  I stretched my mind and asked questions about my career and the ways that I can be better in every aspect of my job.  I explored Singapore to the fullest I could.  I need to go back as soon as I have some funds to enjoy it.  It was an interesting place and I left plenty unseen.

But today, today I rocked it.  There were two meetings, a lesson plan, an observation, and a host of emails to teachers.  I've got a plan.  I'm incredibly exhausted, but it is such a blessedly good tired.  It's the kind of tired you get when you're proud of yourself.  And, you know what?

I'm pretty fucking proud of my exhaustion at this moment.

I also bought this cat in Chinatown.  I figured
it would make me giggle.  It has.

Other details.
I got both an atm card and internet banking today.
I found a place that has deep fried broccoli, like a Thai pakora thing.
I have been setting up my office at work and it's starting to look awesome.
I successfully distracted Rizza from geckos with seaweed.

I'm already incredibly more calm because of this trip.  It settled so many of my concerns.

More to come, as per always.  This is a journey without end.

Rough Seas

Preface:  This is not a blog entry meant to make you feel sorry for me, or to incite some sort of feelings for me and my situation.  I just wanted to explore the feelings that I was having and "be real" as Aaron would say.  I feel the need to be honest about switching my country and changing my work and the types of struggles that it comes with.

Moving is hard.  Moving across continents is hard.  Moving with a dependent is hard (in this, I'm making my cat count).  I've been putting on a face and trying to find my place here in Bangkok, but I'm stressed.

I'm stressed about money.  I've purchased my ticket and moved myself and paid the deposit on a new house.  I'm now in Singapore, on the same pay upfront and get reimbursed system.  And, honestly, I'm just plain broke right now.  These different expenses of getting set up in a house have added up and I won't get paid until the end of the month, for everything.  Even though I know that the first of September, I will be completely free and financially sound, I can't prevent myself from worrying and being stressed about the money that will get me through the next few weeks.  I've very few expenses, but I'm worried about the present and worried about the future.  I've taxes to pay every month for Thailand, taxes to pay for America, and I'm worried about that as well.  Will it be fine?  Yes.  It will.  Does that prevent me from worrying and wondering if I'll be able to save enough to pay off my loans?  Not in the least.

I'm hoping that this blog entry helps me feel more calm about it all.

I'm stressed about transport.  I moved into a house near Kim, which is beautiful and quiet.  He's asked me, rightfully so, to help pay for the commute costs, and they are going to take a small chunk of change.  Transport and money both.  I need to buy a bicycle to get around the village, which I've little money for at the moment, maybe eventually a moto as well.  I worry about making it to school on time given I'm riding to school with a European.  I worry about getting my things to and from the village.  It's a year, and I can live anywhere for a year.  I've lived in a dorm with odd ladies, in a huge theatre house, and with some pretty miserable humans last year.  I can do it.  But, I'm worried.

It's just rough for the moment.

I'm stressed about school.  The first days of school are always stressful, particularly in a new school.  There are new relationships, new children, new vocabulary, a new everything.  It is remarkably fresh and new, and it's very fun, but there's already this stress in other parts of my life, and sometimes I have a hard time focusing on what I'm doing at school.  It really helps that I'm in this conference in Singapore; I feel amazingly more confident about IB and the things that I'm doing in the library, the things I'm meant to do.  There's things that I can find more confidence on and work with.  It's always a bit rough to get beginning.

I miss Aaron.  Really, really, really miss him.  That may be remedied in short order, though.

Without these rough seas, I wouldn't understand how incredible life is, so while they stress me out, I'm incredibly grateful for them.  They remind me to be humble, that sometimes struggle is for the best.  I'll be sorted out in short order.

IB, an intro.

Concordian is an IB school, and I realized today that I've been saying that but not explaining it.  So, here's my quick intro to the world of IB.

IB, or the International Baccalaureate Program, is a challenging one.  It focuses on inquiry, on the whole child, on morals and academic honesty, and it is above all driven by student motivation.  It is incredibly rigorous, with culminating projects in MYP and DP.

Ah, the acronyms.  Let me break it down a bit.
EYP - Early Years Programme - nursery grades, preschool, kindergarten.
PYP - Primary Years Programme - Grades 1-5
MYP - Middle Years Programme - Grades 6-10
DP - Diploma Programme - Grades 11 and 12.

I'll be working mostly with MYP and DP, focusing on research skills for the age group.  I envision myself helping students with their projects and teaching classes on research skills and academic honesty.  My position is brand new to the school; they've gone before having just one librarian focusing on PYP and the younger years, and I know that my presence is helpful to Erin, the current PYP librarian.

MYP and DP both have very intense projects associated with their level.  MYP has a personal project that involves inquiry, research, community service and presentation.  The year before they work on this project, there is an exhibition, which I imagine as similar to a science fair with other subjects involved.  This personal project, with all its work, really strives to be student centered and directed.  Teachers are not allowed to be too involved, just to give support as necessary.

In fact, in the DP final project, teachers need to calculate the number of hours they work on a project with a student in order to ensure that they are not giving too much support to students or doing their work.  DP's final project is an extended essay.  It is a 4,000 word, very detailed work, answering a very specific question with a body of research.  It is incredibly detailed, and gets sent out to DP examiners across the world to be assessed.

I like IB for the rigor.  I like that it focuses not on standardized knowledge, but making connections between the world.  All of the curriculum is linked, so skills and concepts talked about in science have a place in humanities as well.  That way, a student has a well rounded bit of knowledge and awareness of how everything is connected and their behavior can impact another's.  It is challenging, and pushes kids to be better people.  It also utilizes critical thinking and inquiry, or searching for your own knowledge, to create lifelong learners and stimulate curiosity.  It's a good system, one I think I'd have flourished in if I'd had the opportunity.

My high school was trying a similar thing, though, with Senior Project.  While nowhere as rigorous, it did the same thing.  There was a paper, a project element, community service, and a presentation.  I wonder if that is still being implemented.  It was useful for me, though like I saw at my last school, it can be done quite poorly.  I'm such it frustrates teachers when they see such behavior, as it frustrated me.  Some schools would make a choice to take it away.

I'm eager to see the students and how they react to these sort of challenges.  I suppose I'll find out soon.  The first day of school is Wednesday.

I Know You Are Curious....

.... About the Library.

Side note. I've tried to format this better and it isn't working.  So.

Fish Tank at the entry.

There are actually two libraries.  One is more for the younger kids, and one for the DP programme, grades 11 and 12.

This is a trilingual area, so every section of the library has three colors.  White for English, Yellow for Chinese, and Green for Thai.  There are picture books in these three language, easy readers, regular fiction, and just a large selection of works to choose from.

From the entry way.

It's a pretty large library space, about 14,000 volumes, which is pretty normal for its size and the size of the student population.  It's unfortunate that there isn't really a space for the MYP / middle school kids.  This is a very primary centered library.

There is a ton of support, though, which is great.

There are two full time librarians, myself and Erin.  She's getting her degree in Library Science at the moment and is very in tune with the needs of the school.  She's a huge resource for all the teachers and I hope to follow her example for the other teachers as well.

The little person area, full of picture books.

There is a cataloger, a wonderful Thai woman, and she sits and processes new books all day long.  I'm glad that she likes that, because cataloging isn't really my favorite activity.

Her new husband, who sits right next to her, does a lot of the physical processing of the books, and also helps out with the circulation and reshelving.

Ms. Neng, who is the first person I met, is a Thai Chinese superstar.  She does a lot of translation in Chinese for the books, helping put traditional Chinese into simplified Chinese for the picture books.

Looking towards the older students area.  The upper lever
is all theirs.

There are people in all the time, in fact, helping wrap the books in plastic and just working as they can.

I'm greatly impressed with all this support.  There are some libraries in the states that have just one person, the librarian, trying to get all of these things and all of the work accomplished single-handedly.  Even more, there are librarians who are working on their own in several schools, sometimes a different one each day.  That is absolutely insane, and does nothing to help the children.

View from the back. 

In this school, Erin and I have the freedom to teach classes and work with teachers without having to worry about  whether or not a book is catalogued properly.  Especially in a multi-lingual library like ours, we need competent people to process the books.

Neither Erin nor I speak or write Chinese or Thai, so in this we are not the experts.  The library assistants are able to process the books and give us a few words on Destiny (the library system) to help us understand and search the catalog for more information.  Unfortunately, Destiny does not allow searching in other languages as we may hope.  So, our people are extremely valuable.

Plus side.  There is hot water for tea and coffee at all times.

The DP library for grades 11-12.

The DP library is in a whole different building, just for the older kids.  There are very few things in there too, just some magazines, college searching materials, and a few reference type books for students to browse.  A very nice Filipina woman runs this library and helps out the students.

Our main goal this year in school is to make ourselves a resource for the students, someone to ask for research and reference help at any given moment.  It will be a challenge, but it will be great.