My Garden is the Best Garden

This weekend was an introvert weekend.  

And I filled my weekend with the buying of plants.

Now I hear birds chirping around.  

Next weekend, I may go to the Home Pro store to acquire some nighttime mood lights.

This is the view from my seat at the table.  I have a whole selection of plants that bring the joy to my garden.

A second view.  I have plants on the ground, flowers, vines, things hanging, and a plethora of flora and fauna to enjoy.

This is the view as I walk in from a hard day of work.  There are some fragrant flowers that greet me as I walk into the gate.

This is the coolest thing I got today. It has these little pods that (I would guess) trap water in the forest.  It is strictly non-sun.

This tree is the tree that Buddha was born under.  So, I got too.  I need all the Buddha I can get.  He says it gets to be very very large.

I have this orchid and another orchid.  I hope they don't die. 

This is my very fragrant Jasmine flower.  It is called mali, just like in Cambodia.

French Music in my Ears

This is Arno... Les filles du bord de mer.

I'm currently obsessed with this song.
It's about girls on the seashore.
The word he repeats may be "Joie" (life) but not sure.

Can Asians Think?

I've been reading this book with this mighty shocking title.  The author (a Singaporean) talks about Asia as.... everything.  I expected the book would be more about education, but it centers mostly around economics and politics.

He talks about the west being somewhat hypocritical in their methods of approaching other nations.  They believe so much in democracy, so they force it onto countries without the economic stability to reinforce or take ownership for.  They forget that their method doesn't work everywhere for everyone.  They forget that their method barely works in their own country.  They forgo involvement and moral concerns when they aren't threatened.

Some interesting pieces:
(57-64)
Good government doesn't necessarily mean democracy.  In many Asian nations (including the one I currently live in), the nature of the government is very different.  There is a King who is encouraging development and the health and wealth of his people.  Thailand has come a long way under this King.  The government, while not without issues, is pretty darn good, and it is considerably different than the US.

He mentions that the West often is putting the ideals of democracy prior to the goal of economic development.  It's difficult to live up to; without every person having a stake in their economic development, neither will succeed in the way the West hopes.  He goes on to say that Japan is a good example: they underwent a huge transformation after the war because of reforms imposed by MacArthur.  No democratic leader could have instituted those reforms and (therefore) the growth that they created.

I think he has a point.  Cambodia has "democracy" that the West implemented with the early 1990s... and look what has happened.  It is corrupt and unable to stand on its own two feet.  It's neighbors have had so much more economic growth with their varied political structures.

(87)
In Singapore, criminal behavior is dealt with fairly harshly.  As he puts it, the common interest in safety rises above the ideas of due process.  Singapore made this choice and lives with this choice.  The West prefers to wax poetic about their democracy as they allow the sale of drugs on their street corners, which is another choice.  However, they have no right to judge others for their choices and the consequences that are faced.  In this, he gives an example.  He visited the newspaper offices of four great American newspapers, and realized that if he left at night and walked 3 blocks in the wrong direction, he could find himself in a great deal of trouble.  In Singapore, crime near the newspaper office in nonexistent.  The West goes to other countries to try to instill their morals, despite not being aware of the hypocrisy inherent in their judgments.  The US is far from perfect; education and health care, just to name a few, could be vastly improved.  It would help if the US learned from other places and peoples... and listened and changed... but instead they try so often to walk into other countries and say how things should be done.

(99)
Speaking of which, the US cannot continue on this trend.  The US is facing enormous fiscal issues, and turning its back on solving the problems.  Mahburani calls it "massive social decay," the fact that violence, single parent homes, and divorce rates have risen at an alarming rate.  And yet, still, they parade into other countries, especially the East, where social institutions and families are a backbone of society, to preach democracy.  There are huge troubles in the future of the States, and they seem unprepared to deal with them.

(178-192)
Cambodia.
The chaotic era of the Khmer Rouge is directly related to the West and their business in SE Asia.  This essay is called "Pol Pot: the Paradox of Moral Correctness."  He begins by talking about meetings between Churchill and Stalin, and the fact that Churchill's dealings with a genocidal ruler have not tarnished his reputation.  However, Thatcher never met with Pol Pot, because the west 'didn't deal with genocidal rulers.' Even though the actions that took so much from the Cambodian people were condemned by those in power, no steps were taken to try to come to a peace agreement.  He talks about the Paris Peace Conference in 1989; the Khmer Rouge weren't invited to come to a peace meeting because they were condemned by so many leaders, but by not coming to the conference, no peace was to be found.  Instead, the Vietnam invasion was accepted.

There were power plays that the West was blind to; Vietnam and their invasion was seen as a rescue of Cambodians, though that wasn't the case.  They refused to deal with the Khmer Rouge and it led to a greater evil.  The prime minister (who is still in power) tried to start riots and confused the Western media (most of them, at least).  The UN was brought in to hold elections, which appeared to be a nice decision, though rumor has it that the UN brought more disease than stability.  This essay places a lot of blame on the West, for appearing so distraught, then refusing to help where and when it counted.  Pol Pot and the Khmer Rouge, as well as Hun Sen, were (and are) well funded through various channels in the country.  The non-communist parties couldn't raise enough foreign investments to become viable candidates.  The UN couldn't gather the appropriate funds, even as the tragedy was all over the Western media.  It says something about the appearance of morality.

I'm no expert on this, not at all.  This was a painful read, though.  I think of how the West is operating in Cambodia.  They give millions of dollars in aid, a bulk of which lines the coffers of the wealthy and powerful.  They are running a tribunal which wasn't instituted by Cambodia, spending millions on prosecuting those who are almost too old to be on trial.  The country is visibly corrupt, and it is shocking to me as I live here in Thailand, how much more apparent it is for me.

I've heard that before Singapore gained their independence and began planning their city, they came to Phnom Penh to see one of the best cities in Asia.  Cambodia had a golden era, full of art and music and film, and it was all destroyed.  Between Vietnam, and the West, and the forces that were taking hold of the country, that golden era didn't stand a chance.  And look at them now... I am crushed at what once was and what it has become.

fin

The book is wonderful.  It is an enthralling read for anyone in development, especially in Asia.  There are pieces about the UN as well that I found interesting.  Money, economics, influence, power... these things are all in here, and they are well written and thoughtful.  I highly recommend this book (considering I just wrote an essay for fun about it).

Creativity for the Week

I found this on the side of the road as garbage at a house near to my own.  I rescued it because, despite being unfinished, I like the vibe and the colors and even the white space.  Now it lives in my garden.

The coffee man here has these coffee cup holders in plastic.  This is everywhere in Asia.  However, the creativity that I noticed has to do with the coffee man's stand.  There is a blue PVC style pipe with all of these on it, so all he has to do is put the cup on top of the pipe and slide it on.  I find that remarkably practical.

At the noodle stand in the market, there isn't a ton of space.  The ladies I go to have their corner for all their food, a couple of tables, and this, the caddy for all the used cups and garbage.  It's very organized.  There's a strainer over the garbage pail... so they can throw in the excess liquid from the bowls.  It catches all of the extra food pieces, possibly for compost, and lets free the liquid so it can be dumped out elsewhere.  I find that quite clever.

My microwave has Thai foods and writing on it.  That may be interesting to someone.

I got tired of my water bottle flying all over the place, and my coffee in the morning.  So, I created a coffee holder on my bicycle that can hold my liquids.  It's made from some wire and an extra planter thing I found.

10 Books That Have Stayed With Me

I've been seeing the "10 Books that Have Stayed With You" posts going around on Facebook for awhile now.  No one has tagged me, but I'm going to do it anyway.  Here, because I can.

Influence: Science and Practice, by Robert Cialdini

I read this book in college, for a May Term class about Social Influence and Film.  It was incredibly interesting to me, these sociological themes about the hold that others can have on you.  The book made me question some of my own behaviors.  I began to wonder why I was operating in certain ways, and was able to become more self aware because of it.

Bel Canto, by Ann Patchett

I have a very poor memory for most of the books that I read.  Very few things stick with me, and if they do, they are short snippets.  I usually can't recollect an entire book's summary off the top of my head.  This one, though, has stuck with me.  There is vivid imagery in this book, both with images and with sounds, and it hasn't left my memory.

Daughter of Fortune, by Isabel Allende

I remember as a younger girl seeing this book on my stepmom's shelf.  I was always curious because it looked like a memoir, but only read it recently.  I fell in love with it.  I couldn't stop reading her words.  And now, I know a coworker who has actually knows the author and her family, and I'm even more engrossed in the tale that was woven.

The Handmaid's Tale, by Margaret Atwood

I couldn't put this down.  It is one of the best books I've ever had the pleasure of reading, bringing together a mix of incredibly interesting themes and genres together.

The Mysterious Benedict Society, by Trenton Lee Stewart

A YA book, this one has clever kids with different strengths, and I responded so well to the idea that a hero has no specific set of skills, but a collection and a community from which to draw from.

Me Talk Pretty One Day, by David Sedaris

I read this book about a year into Peace Corps.  In the book, he is learning French, and trying his best to have conversations in this foreign language.  He's in a class with a native speaker, a Muslim woman who was in the introductory class to improve her reading and writing skills.  One day, in the spring, they have a communication, this whole class and this Muslim woman, about Easter.  They explain Easter in their limited French vocabulary, talking about "a party for the little boy of god who call his self jesus." "He die one day on two... morsels of... lumber."  I've never laugher harder at a book.  I sat in the hammock under my house and laughed until I cried having faced exactly the same thing in my quest to Khmer learning.

The Money Book for the Young, Fabulous, and Broke, by Suze Orman

She's my idol, I'll admit it.  Her book got me into a plan for myself with money.  It is incredibly important to me and I will continue to appreciate her advice.

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy, by Stieg Larsson

I saw the American version of this in the theatres with no knowledge of the story, no preview watched, no anything.  Immediately afterward, I got the book on my Kindle.  Within a month, all three books were read.  I love her strength, her awkwardness, her intelligence.

Speak, by Laurie Halse Anderson

I read this book for graduate school.  It is a YA book involving the rape of a high school girl, and it is heart-wrenching.  It is a powerful, honest book.

Literacies of Power, by Donald Macedo

This is an education book that I read for a class about multicultural issues in education.  It discusses the power that education brings, and I was reading it right when I came back from Cambodia.  It put great emphasis on the wealth of education and how it is distributed.  It still sticks with me.

Bills Bills Bills

This is my new mailbox.

I got a new mailbox.

On Sunday, I put up my new mailbox, with the hopes that I would get some of the mail that has, in theory, been sitting in the post for the better part of the last month.  My old mailbox was rusty and let in all this water when it rained, so I figured that the mail may not want to come and stay.  Hence, new mailbox.

In the spirit of Thai culture, I also put some flowers on my new mailbox to encourage the spirits of the mail to bring me some.  They have these beautiful garlands of flowers, with jasmine and marigolds and roses all together.

I did get mail.

In fact, the first day, I got the water bill.  It was 76 baht, about.... $2.50.

On the second day, I got the electricity bill.  That one was more pricey... 467 baht, or $14.50.

These are more flowers.

On the third day, I got a letter!  From my grandmother.  Oh, and also a bill for the internet.  The next 6 months will be about 3400 baht, or $115 dollars.  That works out to be about $20 a month.

I also pay a village fee, for garbage and street lights and cleaning and things, of about $25 a month.

That means that the grand total of utilities that I pay, for reasonable use of all the things in my home.... is $60.

$60 for my utilities.  $415 for my rent.

Life.... is good.

New European Tour

Kim played some good tunes today.  And then translated them.  So, here's some cool new music.

This is a song called, Paris, S'evielle by An Pierle.
It's about Paris waking up at 5 in the morning.  The strippers are dressed, the cafes are preparing for customers, they slice the bacon, bake the bread, and wake up for the morning.

This is a cover of an Edith Piaf song by Pink Martini.  It's called, Je ne veux pas travailler, I don't want to work.  It's kind of a break up song.... I don't want to work, I don't want to eat breakfast.  I just want to sit and smoke.

Holy Moly, I Hurt

As I've mentioned, I am trying out a gym membership this week.  Last night, I tried out a class entitled, "Les Mills Body Combat."  Just like Monday, I had zero clue what to expect.  I laced up my sneakers and walked into the studio with my water bottle, ready for a kickboxing-esque workout.

This studio is fairly large, with wooden floors in various tones.  There is one wall of just windows into the gym, and a wall with the body weight straps on them.  The front has a speaker system, and not much else.  Yesterday I noticed the dance instructor must have made a few notes on the mirror.  I saw scribbles about mambo and cha cha.

When I first walked in, I saw three instructor-like people chatting at the front.  There was a gal about my age with a round face and obvious muscle mass, with bangs hanging right over her eyes.  She had bright yellow training gloves that matched her shirt.

There was a tall and thin guy, with big thick glasses.  He had this fancy red workout shirt on and appeared to be made completely of wiry muscles.

There was a small, petite gal all in black as well.  She looked like the type to completely shock you with her fighting skills.  She looked the type to be wearing a sundress and taking down someone.

The Thai began.  It's funny to look at myself in these classes.  When I'm on my own, or with my American peers, I feel a normal size.  When I am in a class looking at all of the Thais around me, I feel huge, and red, and sometimes (sometimes) ungraceful.

The music starts, and we begin.  The first instructor, the larger girl, began the class with her high pitched voice.  We started with some warm up type songs.  I found myself struggling to keep up despite all the kickboxing classes I've done.  I had trouble with the mirroring thing.  I am watching them and can't understand what they are talking about, but it is challenging for me to figure out which foot goes where and how.  I realized toward the end that the guy instructor was standing in the back and that I could mirror him while I saw him and myself in the mirror.

It was enjoyable, this section.  I enjoyed the exercise, and to some extent the music.  I heard techno versions of songs I like.  It was fun as well to watch the instructor blink the sweat and hair from her eyes every time she brought a punch back.

Then the devil came.

The guy instructor was unlike anyone I had ever seen before.  Now, I was kickboxing in Pittsburgh, and there was an instructor there who was somewhat similar.  Every class of his wrecked me in the best way possible.  Jeff.  There's a man with more energy than he can tolerate in his every move.  I remember one class with him... we must have done at least 100 burpees over the course of an hour.  Between kickboxing sets, burpees.  After running, burpees.  After burpees, burpees.  Energy overload.  This guy was the same.  Holy moly.

The first thing we started with was jumping lunges, then squats, then lunges, then squats, then more jumping lunges.  Good god.  Man, what a song.  Then he kept going and going, harder and harder, and continuing to push us and yell.

Then, the third gal.  She had a rough first song because her mic box kept falling off her (much smaller) hips.  Lots of punching, lots of kicking, lots of quick, sharp movements.  She has this delicate and soft voice, which really doesn't match the punches I saw her throw.  Throughout her set, the other woman started yelling loudly... what I thought was nonsense motivation... but might have been words.

And then, the devil again.

For ab work and this kicking combo which was nearly impossible.  Then we all got mats to kneel on as we kicked at various speeds, usually slow, to work on the abs.  Holy moly, I was hurting.

I was going to stay for yoga, but instead I went for food and quiz night at this bar I like, Baan Baan.  I saw Kim and Dani and the girls, and Soly even offered me a slice of pizza.  Her personal pizza.  You don't understand how awesome this is.... that girl can put away more food than anyone I know.  I feel like I've made it with those little ones.  And I feel mighty sore this morning, in a great way.

Conflict

Today, I re-realized that I am not skilled in dealing with and managing conflict.  In fact, I would consider it one of my weaker (if not my weakest) skill.

The conflict I'm dealing with today isn't even that serious.  Someone asked me to do something that isn't possible given my situation.  I don't want to go into great deal given my fear of things ending up in the wrong hands.  I was being asked to do something, and it isn't going to happen.  I feel slightly bad at the circumstances, but I was also put into an unpleasant situation.

Either way, I psyched myself up to tell this person I wasn't able to do it.  I got a pep talk from my friend, and walked over to deliver the news in person since I got an email about it in the morning.  It stresses me out in a very serious way to have these kinds of conversations.  Well, to have these conversations with certain people.  The person in question is typically passive aggressive, and I've been visiting with many more loud and boisterous people recently.  I told her, and she didn't say a word back to me.

It takes me back, to the day that I told my former roommates I was leaving their house.  That was a considerably more stressful situation, with a similar reaction.  The girl roommate sat, looked at her computer, and only spoke one time, angrily, nastily.  I was upset for weeks at the things that she said to me, the way she treated me.  I chose to live there because of the friendship that we had, and it bothered me to find out how little I was valued as a person.  Honestly, that's a tiny percentage of the strife I felt in that house.

Today, this person stared at the computer and didn't look at me when I told her that I couldn't comply with her request.  I do feel bad, but I will not feel that bad.  The request is not unreasonable, and normally I would be happy to help, but my denial is also not unreasonable given the situation at hand.  The trouble that I have is in the delivery.  I am upset at this passive aggressive treatment.

The problem is that I, too, am sometimes passive aggressive, or at least I avoid conflict at every turn.  I would have preferred to email this response, but I felt unsure about documenting it.  I would have preferred a different ending with the roommates, but that also didn't happen.  It is hard for me to approach an issue and I want to improve in this.

At this point, my goal is to ask her politely what I've done to warrant this type of treatment.  Politely, of course, approaching it as something that I'd like to resolve professionally.  I have such an opportunity in this school to do things very well and go very far, and I don't want to have anything standing in my path as I work here.  It is a phenomenal school, with great support.  I'm incredibly grateful to Kim at this point, for the advice that he's imparted on me.

We figured out that I've some trauma associated with this active ignoring.  I'd like to heal myself of this with time.  One step at a time, I will.

Thai Dance Aerobics

Last night, I decided to try the Move Fitness gym and the classes that accompany it.  It's been a few months since my Kickboxing groupon ran out, so I've been looking for something else to do to get the blood moving.  Side note: I greatly miss kickboxing and really wish there was an ILKB studio here in Bangkok that I could join.

This gym at the big mall has a studio with classes of all types: aerobics, yoga, pilates, circuits... several types.  I had gotten the flyer a few days earlier, to ask some questions on when to go and how much it would cost.  In I stroll, and ask the very nice reception lady about having a seven day pass.  Just one week, to get a feel for the range of classes and decide if I wanted to put this much money into it.  She eventually asked her manager and I got the free pass for the week.

I had no idea what to expect.

I was biding my time on the treadmill, doing a little warm up before the class, when I saw the studio filling full of women.

All of them Thai.

And the instructor: A very charismatic guy, with a microphone system like a pop star and a massive purple tie-dyed headband.  He kept yipping (for inspiration) as we danced.

The entire class was in Thai, which as you know I don't speak.  At one point in the middle of the class, I turned to the gal next to me and held out my right arm asking, "Kwa?"  That's the word for right, apparently, and Sei is left.  She nodded and smiled as we kept on moving.

At certain points throughout the hour long class, the instructor would turn off the studio lights and we would dance in the dark, with nothing but the little laser light to get us moving.  I suppose it was meant to be a motivator.

The music was all Asian type pop stuff, with a sprinkle of club hits like LMFAO.  I think one was a Beiber song, though I would have to know his work to be sure (and I won't put any energy into that).  And the dancing was a bunch of salsa and mambo and cha cha moves... which I've noticed that Thais aren't really skilled in.  There was a hint of Asian pop moves... the long arms swinging as you saunter forth, the hopping, the pop and lock.

There's little more entertaining than watching a room of Thai women try to shimmy.

I was surprised to see that no less than 4 women left before the class was over.  This is something I would never see in the states, someone leaving in the middle of a class.  Most of them kept up, even me, though some were considerably more coordinated than others.  The girl directly in front of me was doing incredibly well, and was one of the smallest, thinnest people I had ever seen.

The class was a blast.  I'm leaning to joining this gym and all the amusement that will accompany it.  Maybe I'll even learn a bit of Thai.

The Thrills of Public Transportation

I had a pretty packed weekend.  I can tell that I'm getting more settled here, because I'm thinking more clearly about my goals and the smaller details that I was so overwhelmed with before.  I'm more relaxed, I'm happier.  Things are obviously better, though of course not perfect.

I thought I would try to use the bus system.  The big benefit, of course, is cash.  Taking the bus cost me only 22 baht, about 60 cents.  A taxi of the same ride would be more like 150-180, $5-$6.  I did my recon, going to watch the buses to see which ones passed by most frequently, then tracking down the maps on the web.  The site is actually incredibly clear.

But, I didn't know what to expect.

I didn't take this picture, but you needed an image of
 Thai bus lady and her special stick.

Saturday morning rolled around, and I had my noodles at my place in the market, acquired a spare set of clothes since I was having dinner with a work friend, and gathered my book to go.

When you get on a Thai bus, there is no waiting.  They barely stop at the bus stop for you to get on, and it feels like there is little time to spare.  You go find your seat, and a woman (usually severe looking, in a uniform) comes over to take your money.  It's amazing, their short term memory for the people.  She asks where you're going, then takes your money for her special stick.  She uses the hard edges of the stick to tear the tickets and carry the coins.  They are always extremely colorful, these sticks.

Onward.  I sat and read my book, looking up and watching the scenery so I could find out where I was and where I could go on this bus.  It's the 514.  I went past the nearby mall, which has a cinema, so that's a great thing.  I went past the HomePro (Home Depot) and the Big C (Supermarket) and a whole lot of more boring city things.

Two hours later....

.... I finally made it to my destination, which was the city center.  The time went quickly, but I took note.  I saw an alternative that I will try this weekend.  The Siam Paragon complex used to be this grand place that I loved going to visit.  It is a giant mall in a complex of other giant malls.  Top floor, cinema with IMAX.  I saw Inception there... wowza.  Next to that, a book store.  Ground floor is nothing but food, every food.  You can see the appeal I'm sure.  We used to go and just stay all day.  Food to cinema to bookstore to snack.

Now, I'm not so convinced.  It didn't help that my tummy was slightly upset and I was h-angry.  I went to the Mexican food place, which has good tacos.  I went upstairs and found myself unable to operate the ticket machine without assistance.  Seriously, I have a Master's degree and I can't figure out a kiosk in a move theatre.  Sigh.

I saw Lucy.  After the 15 minutes of previews, an odd mix of Thai and English and adverts, and the King's anthem... for which we stand to pay homage... it was on.  I enjoyed it, but, meh.  I tried to enjoy the giant book store as well, but that was futile as well.  I just can't enjoy the mega malls.  I don't like anything about them.  I got so overwhelmed I just left and found my way down the BTS (skytrain) line to a bookstore that was meant to be good, full of used books.  After I went the wrong direction, tried to ask a moto driver (unsuccessfully) to take me there, I finally made it.

$30 in books later, I ended up at Ms Milichu's house, for dinner.

Paella, bread, Spanish ham...

She's an incredible person that I will devote an entire post to....  let's just say I stayed there from 7-2 in the morning.  It wasn't because I was bored.  She's 76, and her house is full of treasures.

Sunday brought me a picture printing place and a house full of images.
I also bought a mailbox with the hopes that my long lost mail would be happier to appear in a fancy box.
I weeded and cleaned up my plants for a solid half hour.
HomePro (Home Depot) brought me no less than 10 incidents of charades, a very confused "English-speaker," and several employees staring at me in horror, hoping I didn't approach them.

Life, man.

On this simple Thursday....

I was thinking of a few things.

1. I got my macbook, and began uploading pictures.  Today I felt inclined to delete a great number of pictures, as is my goal.  And I did.  I deleted things that were bad shots, anything that didn't bring up a strong memory, pictures that weren't of people I spent great deals of time with... all sorts of reasons.  I started with about 13k photos, and am down about a grand.  I expect I will have a great many fewer by the end of it all, which is the goal.  It was a very curious sensation, though; I kept feeling guilty for every shot I deleted, even though I had variations for days.  I'll work through this with time, I'm sure.  There are a few things that I keep holding on to, and want to let go.

2. I'm thinking seriously about eventually working for Tessa Boudrie, the woman that I wrote my Voluntourism post from.  Her organization, matching donors with suitable organizations, is something that I think could be very valuable.  It seems to me like a great way to enact change, working on the ground and finding places that are doing great and need some help.  It's long down the road, but her talk has stuck with me for some time now.

3. I believe I will spend Christmas in Burma.  And balloon over the ancient city, practice some spirituality, and relax in the trees.

4. Yesterday I babysat for Kim, and watching his girls was a riot.  I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to seek out this family without having one of my own.  I feel rather confident that I will not produce my own offspring, so having that outlet and that nearby family is really a wonderful thing.  I believe I want to get them some kids books for the next celebration... all their English books were garbage.  I read this Town Mouse and Country Mouse and I was yawning reading it because it was so boring.

5. I'm very, very proud of Aaron.  He did an amazing thing this week, and I smile every time I think about how wonderful he is and how much I want him to come over here with me.

6. My lily bloomed today.  Life is grand.

12 Hour Workday (SDTK)

I got home at 7:45.
I left at 6:15.

I listened to these songs.
Also got some very interesting news from an ex.

Goal Check

I've just finished looking over my finances today, which reminded me that it may be time to check in with the goals and how things are going.

• Learn Thoughtfully and Consistently
• Be Mindful
• Organize a Life of Photos
• Find the Joy of Cooking
• Save Every Extra Baht

Learn Consistently.

It's going well.  I've started reading again, about all sorts of topics, and I feel like I'm gaining knowledge about my job and the things that I should be working with.  The learning for work is going extremely well, and I'm having the start of a plan to become a bigger part of the IB world.  In this case, that means becoming a presenter for the IB conference on libraries.  I would run workshops in this part of the world on IB librarianship and how it would look in various schools and various ways.

I'm going to keep reading and keep learning about work, and improve myself and my knowledge in every way I can.  Progress.

Be Mindful.

I give myself half points.  I think I'm observing things around me, but I feel rude as a person who doesn't speak Thai.  I find myself impolite from time to time, and I am working to change that.  I do feel like I observe everything always, but in this I have a ways to go yet.  It helps when I blog.  It would help more to find some exercise that would be effective for me here.

Photos.

My MacBook Pro should be ready in a week or so, and then I will begin.  I may consider borrowing Kim's scanner, or buying one of my own, as soon as those photos show up.  Tabled.

Cooking.

Eating I've got down, but this... Hm.  Not yet begun.

Save Every Extra Baht.

It's really rough to start fresh, but as I looked over my finances today, I had a lot of hope.  My necessary expenses are minimal, my salary is good, and I predict that I'll be able to save about $2000 every month, for use in my emergency fund, retirement, travel fund, and student loans.  I'll update more on that later in the month; I'm missing the first few bills that will give me an indication of how much I'll be spending from month to month.  However, things look very promising.

Adding one more:

Add positive habits.

Aaron laughs at me for saying this, but he is a really big inspiration to me.  I've begun doing things in my home for myself, for the goal of improving my adult ability to live, and also with the notion that I want to live with him.  I admire his way of life, and am going to continue instilling in myself some new habits that will benefit our life together, and me as a human.  I've started doing the following things with that in mind.  

I make my bed in the morning.

I go to sleep with a clean sink, no dishes inside.

I iron my clothes in the morning.

I wake up earlier than necessary and straighten things up.

I end the day with books, not screens.

For every positive habit I add, I feel better about myself and my ability to add positive things to my life.  Because of that, I feel more positive about living with another human who is so very good at adding positive things to his life, because of his discipline.  I admire him.  I seek to have the same discipline.  I will work to have the same discipline.

Astrolabe (sic) Chart Woo Woo

I haven't the slightest clue what this means.

Aaron told me about this birth chart thing that he was impressed with.  Now I am impressed with it, despite really not believing in anything of the sort.  But really, I read it, and I was pretty darn impressed with what it said and how well it described me. Readings in italics, my response in regular text.

Rising Sign is in 24 Degrees Taurus ie... what others see in me and how I present myself.
Calm and deliberate, you hate to move quickly or act hastily. Very practical, every effort must count or you can't be bothered. Patient, persistent and steady, but very stubborn -- you can't be pushed or pressured into anything. You seem outwardly self-assured because you tend to repress your inner tension and turmoil. You exude an earthy warmth, friendliness and charm. You demand comfortable surroundings and appreciate the good life. Be careful of a tendency to be overly self-indulgent. At times, you are lazy and difficult to motivate. Overcoming inertia is a problem for you and, because you are not by nature a self-starter, it is often necessary for you to receive stimuli from others in order to get moving. 

Man, accurate.  Yesterday I went to look for a boxing bag, hung out in the store for at least an hour, and didn't buy the thing that I thought I wanted.  Persistent, check.  Stubborn, my mom will check.  Practical, absolutely.  Self-assured... I was a Stage Manager for years, and a librarian is a SM who works with books.  I'm indulgent with sugar, and ice cream, and things I want.  And absolutely do I need some intrinsic motivation to work hard.... luckily the library thing usually provides me with that.

Sun is in 15 Degrees Libra. ie... typically seen as libra things.
Very sociable, you enjoy being with others and definitely prefer not be alone. Warm and affectionate, you go out of your way to make others like you. You despise ugliness, for you being surrounded by beauty and harmony is a necessity of life. You prefer fine clothing, an attractive home and pleasant surroundings wherever you are. Your refined tastes apply to music and to art as well. At times, you are very indecisive you waver and falter when forced to make a choice because you have the ability to see both sides of any question. The positive part of this is that you are very fair-minded and can be trusted to settle disputes. Your greatest challenge is to take any one- on-one encounter and make the most of it. 

I could argue some of these, like often preferring people and fine clothing.  The beauty and harmony thing are absolutes, the art tastes also well suited.  Decisions... man... I'm a libra to the core.  

Moon is in 25 Degrees Sagittarius. ie... personality traits.
An idealist, you prefer the grand, the beautiful, the good and the noble. You get very disappointed when your high expectations in life are not met. Very curious by nature, you enjoy traveling and learning about other peoples and cultures. Try to avoid your tendency to ignore the small but important details of living. You are independent and free, and you want others to be that way, too. Optimistic, buoyant and cheerful, others like to have you around. You have an incessant desire to learn as much as possible about metaphysics, religion, philosophy and any other broad, deep subject. Your life tends to be punctuated by bursts of energy and frenetic activity. 

Curious. Traveling. Peoples and Cultures. Independent. Optimistic. Learning. Jesus, they figured me out.

Mercury is in 07 Degrees Scorpio.
You are a born investigator. You are fascinated by secrets and mysteries and unanswered questions of any kind. When you become upset or angry, your emotional reactions are overpowering -- reason and logic disappear in an uncontrollable passionate outburst. You tend to keep your thoughts secret and bottled up and this makes others regard you with suspicion. It is not that you are trying purposely to be evasive, it is just that you would rather not deal with the explosions and hassles that often occur when you reveal your true feelings and opinions. Your sense of humor tends toward sarcasm and irony. 

I can see this.  I do have outbursts, and I often saw that as something that arose because I wasn't very good at dealing with conflict in any other way.  It takes a great deal of time before I get upset or angry, but when I do, I very much do.

Venus is in 19 Degrees Scorpio. 
Your feelings about others are deep, powerful, intense and complex. When you like someone, you do so totally and obsessively if you do not like someone, they do not exist. Your faithfulness and loyalty to your lover is unquestioned, indeed at times it is too much so -- you get so possessive that you almost smother your partner. At times, your feelings are kept deep within you and, because they are so complex and intense, they frighten you -- this is the way that you try to ignore them. But the more you try to do this, the more explosive things get when you eventually do express them. 

Hm.  It frightens me to believe these things, though I've seen it before.  I dated a few guys who were freaked out at my emotions, and I have learned to repress them.  With Aaron, I find myself liking him so much that I can't see anything else.  In fact, I've told him recently that it has been somewhat beneficial to be overseas.  I am more focused on my job because he is so far away, and I am able to take what I like about him and put it in a box while I'm here.  I don't find myself possessive, however.  I just like having him around.

Mars is in 00 Degrees Aquarius. 
Your ideas and opinions are usually inventive and original, but sometimes they are merely eccentric and offbeat. You are altruistic -- you will work hard for the attainment of group goals, as long as they meet your high standards. You tend to resent traditional authority figures because you think that your ideas are better thought out and more valuable than theirs. Very idealistic, you are a rebel WITH a cause! 

High standards.  Yes. Altruistic, more before Peace Corps.  The thing about authority figures makes me laugh... it's so accurate I have trouble expressing it.  

Jupiter is in 14 Degrees Pisces. 
You are at your best when you give of yourself and what you have -- try to avoid being a martyr about it, though. You're a true idealist, but you must learn not to be upset when life does not cooperate with the way you think things should be. Very concerned with spiritual truth and growth, when you practice what you preach, you make an excellent role model for others. You are so devoted to altruistic ventures and concerns that you tire easily at times. It then becomes necessary for you to go off by yourself to recharge your batteries. 

I suppose my teaching could be considered altruistic.  That word does bother me, though.  I hope these things are true of me; I find them beautiful expressions of what I seek to be.

Saturn is in 06 Degrees Sagittarius. 
Basically quite conservative, you respect traditional authority figures and are very thankful and supportive of the laws and institutions which govern your life. You learn and accept new ideas only after having very thoroughly examined them. Ideals and abstract concepts are important to you only if they can be used in some practical fashion. You are so practical and so orderly that you have natural skills in planning, administrating and organizing. 

It's a bit odd to consider this authority thing with the other, and to consider the value of laws when I lived in Cambodia, but I see the benefit.  I am grateful when things work out.

Uranus is in 19 Degrees Sagittarius. 
You, and most of your peers, have the tendency to think that all ideas, customs and traditions from the past are outmoded and irrelevant. You are attracted to radically new ideas, philosophies and religions that will, hopefully, cause sweeping changes throughout the world. 

TED talks.  Truth.

Neptune is in 03 Degrees Capricorn. 
You, and your entire generation, will idealize work, practicality and the ability to attain reasonable goals. But, because you will also stress the need to be selfless and giving, you may find it difficult to attain your goals unless you have lowered your expectations on all fronts. 

Depressing, though accurate.  I do find it attractive to think of goals that are reachable and valid.  I absolute value practicality and the ability to work for something.  While I'm not sure of my generation's ideas of it, I think that working towards a goal should often be a part of my daily life.

Pluto is in 06 Degrees Scorpio. 
For your entire generation, this is a period of intense research and discovery in areas that were heretofore considered mysterious, remote or taboo. The root causes for many complex occurrences will be unearthed due to the intensity and thoroughness of the search. 

Cool.

N. Node is in 20 Degrees Aries. 
You're at your most comfortable when involved in group activities outside of your immediate family circle. You delight in getting involved with others in neighborhood civic or political activities, especially if you can be a part of the leadership of the group. Your zeal and overabundant energy bring out your real creativity when you can work toward tangible results -- things that will immediately benefit those around you. You have a real gift for getting the most out of charity drives and community benefits. Take time out between projects though, because you tire out easily and your effectiveness becomes greatly diminished when your energy is depleted. Also, don't even think of trying to get involved at a peripheral level -- you need a total commitment to feel personally fulfilled. Let others bake the cookies and set up the chairs -- you should be the one to tell everyone what to do and when to do it! 

Not sure how to respond to this, but my ideas on charity in this moment in time are not very positive.  Especially because I live in this part of the world, I find charity and community service to be an odd, poorly considered thing.  I'm still working on this, of course, but I hope to find a cause to support.

Places I Read

I'm very thrilled to say that I have begun reading again.  It may seem strange that a gal like me ever stops reading, but for me, I read in waves.  I read the full HP series in a matter of weeks, then had a dry spell for a few weeks.  I read the Dragon Tattoo series in a similar time frame and couldn't be convinced to read for almost two months afterward.  I was getting through the Game of Thrones series, but I just couldn't finish.  I lost the power and was stuck halfway through book 5 for the better part of 6 months.

But now, I've finished, and found again my love of the written word.

I finished GoT.
I read The Fault in Our Stars on the way home from the retreat.  It was finished in less than a day.
I've now just finished Divergent, and am beginning the others.

And so, I thought I would begin a series of photographs on where I read.

Bangkok, and my village Sammakorn, give me a wide variety of options for reading.  I love it.  Love it.  And with that being said, I figured there might be some interest in the places and the things that I'm beginning to do in my daily life.

The table I have at home and my brand new Ikea lamp.  I was reading
while I consumed some noodles and iced Strawberry Green tea.

Noodles at breakfast this morning.  Starting book 2 of Divergent with
guey tio and coffee.

Today, blogging, though I could easily have been reading.   I'm at a place
called Lord Of Coffee, and the guy who runs it (Kang) is an awesome human.
Check my beaker of tea and my scone.

Lord of Coffee again.  I've been moving all over today in this joint because
it is open air and the rain keeps coming down and soaking me.  You may be able to
see the rain falling hard.  It's all over this poor place, and empty save me.

(Success) and Failure

As happens in life, many things have happened this week.

I'll start back from last weekend.

I painted this.  Now I want to paint
more things.

At the retreat, one of the final things I did was paint a bag.  Yes, paint a bag.  The resort had this little carnival area where kids could paint or arrange flowers or do origami, all sorts of things.  We had a bit of free time, so I went to go purchase a plat or two and then... sat and painted a bag.  Normally, I wouldn't consider this blog worthy.  However, it was more than amusing that everyone thought I was out of my mind.  My colleagues giggled at me for doing such a childish thing, even though they complimented the look afterward.  The Thai women running the show were looking at me with some sort of panic, like, "oh no, we can't tell this girl what's happening..."  I just sat down and started painting.  They also gave some stems of a certain fern as a stamp.  It was very calming and peaceful for me.  Although, one issue I ran into was the tourists.  Three different people at three different times, within the half our window that I was painting, stood directly in front of me and took my picture.  It really puzzled me, considering I was never a part of their trip, but I suppose as a white chick, I was some sort of attraction.

I remember one time in Peace Corps, I lost my temper from a stranger taking my photo.  I was walking to my local coffee shop, fifteen feet in from of my own house, and I couldn't believe that some stranger on the street was trying to photograph me.  He was on a moto, and he swerved across the street to stop dead in front of me, pulling out his phone as he went.  I was furious.  At this moment, I can't remember why I was so angry... probably because he was treating me like a tourist in the place I had spend almost a year and a half in.  I was being so mundane, walking to the coffee shop, and he was treating me like an outsider.  I yelled at him in Khmer and pushed his phone down away from myself.  While painting now, though, I had no such impulses.  I thought it was strange, yes, but I am still a tourist in this land.

I went to Ikea when we got back from the resort, because I was dropped off at school and they are barely a trek to one another.  I can see Ikea in the window from some of the classrooms.  Perhaps it serves as inspiration, but I doubt it.  Ikea on a Sunday was the worst idea I have had recently.  Sunday is the day that you bring the whole family to the mall.  I'm going to attempt to never visit a mall on the weekend ever again.  I bought a lamp, though, and that was what I needed.  It makes my bedroom just *that* more homey.

Pizza courtesy of Pizza Florence.  They bring it to my
home.  This time, it didn't quite fit in the box.

On Wednesday, I went to quiz night, despite being exhausted.  While my team came in last (or almost last) place, I still had a good time with some of the teachers from a school very near to my village.  My team consisted of this funny guy named Teddy, a tall ESL teacher, his Thai wife, the owner of a local bar, Chris, a physics teacher with long hair, and a science teacher.  They taught me that the sun is 8 light minutes away from the sun.  I also learned that many of the Ancient Wonders of the World were destroyed by earthquakes and that Jessie J sings something about money.  It was a good time; the owner of the bar we met in is called Jay, and he has short magenta hair.  Magenta.  He's nice, and Baan Baan bar is a little wooden house, all open air, in the middle of this city sort of landscape.  It's like a breath of fresh air, a little slice of the country in the village.

I had to laugh as well at the emcee of the quiz night. It was a room full of teachers, every teacher from the local area.  Most of them teach at an international school called RIS.  If you know teachers at all, you may know that they are the worst possible students.  The worst.  And, the guy running a quiz with a room full of teachers... was... not a teacher.  He is a guy who is spending the year travelling the world by motorbike.  His story was all well and good, but quiz night was not his forte, and I hope that next quiz night he finds himself on a team and not in the front.

Rizza is very happy to be in this dinosaur costume.
Just kidding, she hates it.

I had some small successes as well:
I set up my internet banking to top up my phone, from which I received an email saying (Success).
Four kids asked me for advice on citations, and I taught some hilarious classes.
I got a second card from the bank "for my boyfriend" that I can send home to suspend the outrageous transfer fees.
Some kids know me by name.
I bought a lego Iron Man.
I bought an outfit for my cat.
I'm making my house a home.