An Alternate Universe

View from the morning.  I find that windows have a
big impact on me.

I feel as though I've entered an alternate universe.  At this exact moment, I'm sitting on a hanging chair, lounging outside on one of the most peaceful porches I've ever seen.  I'm listening to the sounds of nature, a whole cacophony of noises: frogs and insects and the things one hears in some tropical rain-forest.

I was fortunate enough to be invited to this IB retreat, a school event that takes all of the grade 12's to Khao Yai, to a resort outside the national park.  The purpose is to give the students a dedicated space and place to kick off this intensive year by presenting the work that they've done on their extended essays, a 4,000 word paper due in February.  I was invited by chance I think, to get a feel for the research that the students need to do within the next few months.  I heard several presentations today, and the work is going to be intense and interesting.  I am using the time to get to know the kids a bit better as well, because that's how good teachers operate.

I have never seen this honeycomb set up before.

We've also had some time for fun, though.  Part of the fun here is relaxing in this peaceful atmosphere.  It's a massive place, a sprawling complex full of beauty.  There is no place to turn where you aren't looking at something green and naturally gorgeous.  There's a view of the mountains and the lake from where breakfast is served.  You could get lost in the pathways from place to place... and the pool is phenomenal.  Salt water, massive.  It's stunning, the whole place.

There's also the food.  We've had these delicious Thai dishes every meal, with a variety of flavors.  They finish with cut mango and fresh fruit, and rivers of tea.  I can't say enough about it.  The breakfast... well, anyone who knows me knows my affinity for breakfast food.  There was an entire room devoted to it, which of course I went to early given the circumstances.  There was even a whole honeycomb that dripped into a dish.

Can't go wrong with a place that has cats roaming.

I learned later that there was also a mini-zoo, which turns out was an odd collection of creatures.  One deer, among chickens and peacocks.  Some goats... with peacocks.  Some ducks... with other odd ducks.  It was hilarious to see the menagerie that they had created.  Plus.  There was a man who helped out there, who had some sunflower seeds (and later corn) that he fed these beautiful birds with.  Then, he gave me some seeds and the birds came onto my hand!  Words couldn't express how overjoyed I was.  I was smiling like a mad fool.  I kept walking and found some gardens, which was equally awesome.  I may have to go back tomorrow to get a plant for my garden.  They were really inexpensive plants.  Curious given the fact that it's near a five star hotel thing.

Posers.

I also had a massage, which turned into something of a Thai lesson, with this funny Thai ladies trying to teach this silly white girl some phrases.  It also is getting to the end (and very dramatic part) of GoT Book 5, so I was exclaiming at the kindle and getting some good laughs from the ladies that way as well.

I have to take a moment and acknowledge this place that I'm in.  Just a few weeks ago I was stressing every moment about money, unable to sleep for the worry I had.  And here I am, in this fancy place, playing like I have hundred of dollars for hotel rooms every night.  It really makes me think about this life that I live, and the places that I can go with this school.  I'm grateful that I've had this opportunity, and hopefully will have it for more years to come.  It's such a step outside the bounds that I've experienced.  It's such a different life from the different ones I've led over the years.  I wonder about its impact with the simple life that I'm aiming for as well.  This weekend, I haven't turned on the television, or had telephone service.  I read my book.  I ate my food and talked.  It's been simple.  Very simple.  Though this life is very different, very privileged.  I'm unfamiliar with it all, still taking it all in.

The JOY. These birds have got a fine day of food.

I had another thought as well today.  I was watching these student presentations, about everything from a natural curing tree to Korean film to Devil Wears Prada.  There were so many topics that I had such minuscule background information on.  I thought to myself that I needed to read more, and more often, to pick up some of the slack the summer has left on my brain.  There are things I need more experience with, and books can bring me there.  Reading opens those doors, and I need them all wide now.  I'm nearly finished with Game of Thrones, and then.... all doors are open for more reading.

Rain, Rain, Go Away

Today I had a violent introduction to rainy season.  Well, perhaps a re-introduction may be more accurate.  I was in Cambodia during the floods two years back, where the entire city shut down for the better part of a month; school was cancelled for 6 weeks because the whole place had fish swimming about in it.  There were some rapids raging right outside my house, near my driveway.  It was hell to get around, dirty water swirling at every moment.  I barely left the house.

The very definition of inefficiency.

Kim and I were driving home today around 5, watching the clouds roll in all black and green.  I told him that if I would have been in Iowa watching those clouds, I would have been worried about a tornado.  About half way home, it started sprinkling.  A little bit farther and it poured, rained cats and dogs, dumped every bit of the water on us.  We were driving home at a fraction of the speed we usually go because it was just that dangerous.

Then we reached Sammakorn, our village.

The traffic at the head of the road was way worse than usual, barely moving, and I began to wonder what was happening.  Then I see a car with water up to the headlights trying to pull some sort of turning maneuver in the middle of the road.  We had to drive quite a way through the village, with water up to our own headlights the majority of the way.  It was slightly terrifying, because we both wondered if his car would survive.  This is some serious water.  It's all through the village, too, as I found when I came home.  Through every street, I had to pedal through water that touched my feet as I rode.

The light's bad, but... you can see the reflection of a house
on the street.

I realized as well when I got inside that some of the water got in through my (always) open windows.  It decided to soak the Ikea bed, a bid of the sofa, and some of the floor.  I don't really have a solution for that, though the fan is on it.

Plus, my fern blew over.

What a storm.  Kim kept saying that it wasn't normal, wasn't normal.  My contexts say that it sure happens, like the traffic he keeps mentioning is so abnormal and yet happens daily at this point.  However, this does seem a bit out of character.  It WAS hard, intense, rainy season rain for at least an hour, maybe more like two.

I suppose I should shut that window sometimes.

It's only water, though.  It will dry up.  I hope it doesn't smell too bad though.

Voluntourism

When I was at the IB conference in Singapore, I was fortunate enough to listen to a talk from Tessa Boudrie, a woman who has been working as a social worker in Asia for years and years.  She currently runs a business that connects philanthropists with philanthropic opportunities, in Asia, and was speaking on choosing a good organization for the school to support.  She's a consultant, which has become a much needed business in this world that I now live in.  She worked in Cambodia, and gave several examples of this in her talk, in Burma, in Singapore, in Hong Kong, all over.  The talk was... phenomenal.  She laid her talk out in bullet points and examples; how should one choose an organization?  Look for this and this and this, else this and this is likely happening.

Voluntourism, which is volunteering for short stints of time in a foreign country, is a relatively new idea, and one that is catching on quickly.  There are organizations that provide short trips for students, for church groups, for adults, for anyone, for any amount of time.  Sometimes people pick up activities that are philanthropic while they visit another country.  I know people who've done that as well.  It's everywhere at this point, especially in countries with less infrastructure, like Cambodia.

There are huge implications for this.  Huge.  And so, here I write, hoping that the mind of at least one soul will be opened up.  I heard the talk, and noted the concerns, and thought a week, and edited more.  I'm very torn on this issue, torn on the things that I've seen and heard and experienced.  I volunteered throughout high school, throughout college; I was a Peace Corps Volunteer.  Now, I'm working through some intense reflection and looking through a different lens.  I'm going to go through my notes on her presentation, and present them to you.  She had examples, and I have examples, and it will be a big mash up of the two.  She put into clear words and phrases the things that I was beginning to grasp onto as I worked and lived in Cambodia.

We need to think about the differences between development and charity.  Development, where we help someone improve something about their life, something that they've identified they could change with a little help... and Charity, giving things to others.  That's the drive behind this.

Is the organization....

...needs based?
I saw this so often.  One day while I was working at school, an electric piano appeared on the doorstep.  It was a gift from the Korean government, part of an initiative to get Cambodian kids to enjoy playing music more.  There were a few problems with this idea.  One, there was no electricity to plug this piano into.  The school had no such thing.  Two, what teacher is going to lead a kid through this discovery?  None of our teachers knew how to play the piano.  I could tap a few keys into a melody from having a computer, but I can't well do that without electricity.  Three, any and all valuable (including school books) were usually kept locked up... when was this theoretical child meant to learn this?  They were answering an idea from their own lips, not the ideas of the school.

...addressing the symptoms instead of the roots?
She gave an example of an organization wanting funding for victims of acid attacks.  It had become this huge issue in Cambodia, because people were using it as a weapon that lasts forever.  Acid won't kill you, just disfigure you and make your life miserable.  They wanted all this money to provide care for these victims, and she was able to direct some money to media and government to provide change for the root issue.  She was able to get the laws changed to more serious sentences and provide PSAs that made the attacks unacceptable for society.  Along with her partners, they were able to address the root of the cause and dramatically reduce the number of people needing this assistance.

...best interests of the beneficiary?
This one hit home for me.  Peace Corps became for me something that served my resume and my personal development far more than it did those around me.  It's not uncommon, I know, but I wonder sometimes why I really went overseas in the first place.  I lived, I learned, and I hope that a voluntourist would consider seriously what they are hoping to accomplish by spending a week volunteering in a world and a culture that they don't know very well.  Especially when it comes to building things or working with children... I, too, did Habitat for Humanity while in Cambodia, and I look back on that and laugh at the misery I was.  It was also April, the hottest month of the year, and we were out building houses with concrete.  How silly of me to think that I knew what I was doing more than the man who has built homes for 30 years.... And yet, there I was.  Consider this as well, please.

...community driven?
I'll redirect this one back to the piano.  And, actually, a positive story.  Peace Corps does teach you to ask for what your partners want and try your darndest to give it to them.  I noticed a need with the bathrooms, that the girls were having a rough go at school because they didn't have clean restrooms to use.  My brother, Phil, helped give the money that built the bathroom, and I would hope that it is still in working order and being used.  The school community wanted a fence around the tree, though.  I didn't build a fence around the tree.  I think back on that and really wonder... I wonder if the bathroom is locked up like the school books and the fence around the tree magically popped up with some money.  The VSOers, with money from the US government, built a pediatric center that looked pretty awesome though.  It was needed, and wanted, and driven by those who wanted it.

...registered?
Is it real?  Maybe that sounds like an odd one to you, but in this wild west that is SE Asia, it isn't that much of a stretch.  It's easy to lie here.  It's easy to find a place for money.

...exit strategy?
I had a bit of a beef with lots of NGOs in Cambodia with this.  This one looks at the long term goal of any organization, which likely should include something about being done.  They fixed the main problem, or dealt with the big issues, or trained up locals to take over completely.  The white folk (or the Japanese folk, or the whoever folk) shouldn't necessarily be living on their NGO salary for the rest of their days.  What is the endgame?  Or is there one?

...serving the greater good or individuals?
She gave an example of a school sending two bright on full scholarships to Oxford, and how that money could feed an entire village for the better part of the year.  This was also the main criticism of JPA, just so you are aware.

...other players in the similar field?
There are a multitude of education NGOs in Cambodia.  None (or few) of them work together.

...financially vulnerable/audit?
Where's the money coming from?  Where's it going?  I'll say, I began to get very suspicious of big NGOs in Cambodia... they often had the biggest, fanciest cars driving around the place with their logos stapled on.

...sustainable?
People love this word.  Love it.  And it means a couple of things.  How is the business running?  How is it funded?  Are they beginning to make their own money and need an injection like a start up?  Or is it entirely donation based?  One of those is more sustainable than the other one, usually, that is.  Is it a business that could last if some things were shaken up?  It is a business, right?

...Reporting?
They should be reporting.  Often.

...Religious?
My family in the village became Christian because there were opportunities they could access in the city.  She didn't usually support those organizations because there were requirements to benefit from the services.  I've seen a very good one, that I support, and some much less good ones, so I'm torn on the issues.

...Political?
Hopefully I don't have to explain that one.

...Emergency?
I thought of the scene in Clueless when she was telling us about this one.  Cher donates her skis for the Pismo Beach Disaster Relief.  Emergency giving is often fraught with chaos, amazingly unorganized.  Usually donations are hard to manage.  Plus, the real needs come about 6-8 months later, when the aid starts to run out and people are getting back to real life.

...Foreign staffed?
Hopefully they are training up local staff to take over.  If not, it may be something to consider.

...an orphanage?
Ms. Boudrie is very passionate about this issue.  She never supports orphanages, ever.  Ever.  EVER.  I agreed before her talk, and now I agree more.  The vast majority of "orphans" in Cambodia are not orphans, just kids from a poor home.  Sometimes they are made to perform on the street.  Sometimes they are begging on the street and giving the money to some sort of kingpin around the alley.  Most of them were convinced to come to the orphanage with promises, and the number of orphanages has grown in a very similar pattern to that of tourism.

There are worse stories.  My teacher friend told me a story of visiting an orphanage in Vietnam.  It was run by some white fellas, and her teacher friend (a man) took her and another gal to this other place to give some school supplies and stuffs to these kids.  The men asked him which kid he wanted to take.  And to make sure he had him back by Friday.  No foreigner, no tourist, no person without the proper clearances and paperwork and everything, should be taking care of children or visiting children in orphanages.  Can you imagine trying to visit an orphanage or a group home in America?  In Europe?  Why is it okay in Asia?  It's not okay.  It is never okay.  If you don't work with these particular children, you shouldn't be visiting them.  Period.  My school doesn't allow anyone on campus that doesn't belong.... the same should be true for any space where children are present.  This nonsense has to stop.  No More Orphanages.

I'm forcing myself to stop now.  Please, please consider what it is you are doing before you try to swing a hammer for "poor people" someplace else.  Instead, start at home, in a culture that you understand, support responsible trade and tourism, and if you have something valuable to share, like a skill, figure out how to teach it to some people.  But, please, don't assume that you are saving the world by spending a week working on things that you don't know how to do.  And please, evaluate and reflect on your choices to volunteer overseas before you barge into another country and someone's home like the colonists of old.  Show dignity by increasing development.

References:
Voluntourism

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The purplest bicycle the world has ever seen.

The past couple of days, it has really begun to sink in that I live in Thailand.  I had a weekend that was pretty glorious, though not without it's problems, not without the life involved.  I already had my adventure on Friday, involving my bicycle, my shopping journey.  And the weekend was no different.

She's started to explore outside the house.  It's a
very safe neighborhood at the end of a street.  Cats abound.

Saturday morning, early, I had to go to the hospital for a check up.  Apparently, it is uncommon to go to a small doctor's office for anything; all things involving medicine are immediately directed to these giant structures filled with nurses.  The school had us go for the check ups since they are required for our work permits and visas.  It was a pretty amusing little venture.  I got there early, a little past 7, because I wanted to beat the crowds and the traffic.  I got height and weight, blood pressure.  The nurse laughed because she had to stretch the height stick out a bit farther than usual.  Blood work, chest x-ray (complete with fancy hospital gown), and peeing in a cup.  I had to wait around a bit after the x-ray, so they gave me a coupon for the cafeteria downstairs.  I ended up eating at Au Bon Pain downstairs instead, because there weren't any noodles and I was hangry (yes, hangry, like hungry and angry) after fasting for 6-8 hours.  Once I got back upstairs, the doctor poked and prodded and checked my ears while wearing a face mask, then told me I was anemic and otherwise in great health.  

Not QUITE as cool as my old sarong ones, but these
will do.

By the time I got home, and skyped Aaron, I was disinclined to leave the house again.  I felt very tired, a bit sick, and just not up to an adventure.  That's quite a bit of life overseas for me.  Sometimes, I just don't want to leave my sanctuary and fight to communicate.  Some days, it's no trouble.  Some days, I just can't.  I watched TV on my computer until I fell asleep.  That suited me just fine.  That's the bad.

This whole bag cost me $3.78.

This morning was the good.  I slept in, even though it gave me a bit of a headache.  Once I got up and around, I found my way to the weekend market and acquired a bowl of soup and coffee.  It wasn't just any soup.  This was the soup that I miss the most from my time in Cambodia.  It's my desktop picture.  It was guey tio in Cambodia, here it's guey deeo.  It is rice noodle soup in a galircky broth, with fried garlic bits and spring onions on top.  Although, I accidentally chose the glass noodles instead of the rice noodles, which  only noticed when I began eating them.  They turn clear in the hot water, and my normal rice noodles still retain their opaque white color.  They still tasted phenomenal, especially paired with the coffee from the lovely seller who spoke English and looked far more wealthy than I expected.  

I also bought a sarong, some comfortable shorts, and some veggies for next to nothing.  And then, the plants.  I kept seeing a plant seller on the way to work.  For our commute, we have to go the wrong way for about a mile before we can u turn onto the correct road.  I'm sure I'll write more on traffic at a later date.  I parked my bicycle near the moto stand on my side of the big road, then took the stairs across the top to get there.  The lady was a very stereotypical seller, at least by Cambodia standards.  She had a hat with an over-sized visor and a fanny pack, and she luckily spoke just enough English to make things known.  She told me that if I spent 2000 baht, about 60 bucks, on plants, she would make a free delivery with the car.  60 bucks later, I walked out of there with a beautiful selection of plants that made my driveway look so much more appealing.  I'll get more at the next pay cycle, I think, and a hammock.  

That's the good.

Here's the ugly: Thailand is hard on the system.  Today I was suffering from some major tummy issues.  I barely ate, felt nauseous at both ends, and was feeling the heat in a very extreme way.  I took care of myself.  I ate rice for lunch with a bit of green curry.  I drank some iced tea to keep myself cool.  I bought some Royal D-licious (shout out to all the PCVs out there), and tried to rest and relax.  But my body feels weak and ill.  I must have eaten something that didn't agree with me.  That, or, my body is trying to adjust to the 94 degrees that it was most of the day.  Maybe both.  Plus, it is that time of the month again.  So, the ugly adds up.  

There's a little bit of everything every day.

TBIF

Thank Buddha it's Friday.

I got home today, and I decided to go on an adventure.  I was quite tired, but I wanted to knock some things off of my to do list and I was feeling motivated to go out into the world.  Fun fact about overseas living: this isn't always the case.  Sometimes, the idea of leaving the house is so abhorrent to you, for a number of reasons.  I was just talking to a coworker about this today.  Her husband came over with her, and he's having a rough time adjusting to the variety of difficult factors here.  So, he spends his time at home on the computer or reading books.  There were some days I felt the same.

Luckily, today was not one of those days.  I have a TON of stuff to do this weekend, and it was great to get a head start on a long afternoon.

I started at the post office.

Mission: Stamps.

The lady was moderately nice, but unfortunately, I can't buy stamps for overseas mail without weighing it.  This frustrated me given I'll have to go there anytime I want to send a letter.  And I want to send many letters.  Either way, I bought some postcard stamps in case I ever locate a postcard to buy (Meem, I'm still thinking of you) and some Thai mail stamps as well.  Maybe I'll get lucky enough to discover some friends I want to send mail to over here.  Side note... I need to learn Thai.

Post office: Moderate Success.

Onward to the Big C, the Wally World of East Bangkok.

Mission: Bicycle.

This boss basket makes me feel
like a kindergartner with a Radio
Flyer.

It may have helped that I began the trip with a tiny dipped ice cream cone from DQ.  There's one on the bottom floor of the Big C complex, and I indulged because... Friday.  Up I went, and over to the bike area.  There's a huge set up of bicycles in every size, so I saunter up and find the absolute largest on in the Thai stlye.  I find two that I like, a purple one, and a light blue one.  There aren't very many choices as far as model, just a couple color choices and different wheels.  I notice that they are classified as "24" and see a chart in the back that's similar to a height chart.  It's all in Thai, so I can't read a lick of it, but I see the correlation and go and stand near to the chart, noticing that I'm a "26" because I'm so damn tall.

Hm. Well.

I look around hoping to find a Big C employee.  I'd be interested to know how many people they employ at any given time.  There seems to constantly be a large set of very bored salespeople in the electronics aisle, and generally just a huge crew of folks walking about aimlessly.  I search for a person, and find a couple of guys who deal with my lack of Thai for about 3 minutes before sending me off with another dude.  This guy, though, was lovely.  I asked if they and this “26” and I am quite sure he said no.  So, he took the “24” bike that I had, fixed the seat to go up, moved the handlebars, and let me ride around the bike area.  It was hilarious!  He showed me to the bike locks (I’m getting really good at charades) and even, somehow, arranged for delivery.  For free.  Oh, and he called me Sir a bunch, which made me smile.

My attempts to figure out what
we were celebrating with this giant
bear were unsuccessful.

I’m the proud new owner of a purple bike.  I also used this sweet cart to find some incense, mosquito coils, and speakers.  And, I was lucky enough to see a giant bear walking around and getting cheered on by pretty ladies with signs.  I had no clue what was happening.

Big C: Extremely successful.

I drove then to the bank.

Mission: Transfer funds.

Bank: Unsuccessful.  Account not found.

I walked to get some pakora broccoli. 

Mission Unsuccessful.

But then I saw (I think) a crocodile in the lake.  I went home and lit incense and nested.  And now, I'm about to sleep at around 9:30 because this week took it out of me.  Tomorrow is a medical check up for school and hopefully some plant buying.  Plus, my bicycle should arrive.

Friday: Mission Success.

Hump Day Ha!

I got this pizza delivered to my house.  It was $5. 

Today I went grocery shopping with Kim.

It was a long day and is becoming a very long week; I've worked pretty head on for about a solid week now, and it's beginning to catch up with me.  On the upside, I got a bit of cash in my pocket today, which is mighty fine.

So we went to the grocery store, the Big C, as it's called.  I shopped around for a bunch of things: a fan, a mug, some groceries.  I bought peanut butter and honey, some grapes, a few other things.  The grocery store is so haphazardly organized.  It took me ages to find anything, so I just wandered about until I completed my list.  There's a section called Processed Food, where you can find honey and cereal and chips.  Just... odd.

Anyway.  I was checking out (and couldn't for the life of me remember my own phone number, which meant I couldn't get my points), and I see Kim doing the same a few aisles up.  He finished before me, and went off to the other side of the store, then returned looking pleased as punch.  I was just finishing up, and he started telling me about this bowl that he got.  This bowl... was white ceramic with a tiny picture of cuddling kissing bears on it.  He told me it came from "the man."  My curiosity was piqued, and I asked for more information.  He tells me that there is a place where you give your receipt to the man, and sometimes he gives you a prize.
What?

Yes, there is a man who looks at your ticket and sometimes he goes, "no" but sometimes he goes "yes" and gives you a prize.

I thought to myself... well, might as well try that.  Show me the way, Kim!

It was free.  A prize for buying water.

I handed my receipt to that man.  He looked very unhappy.  He perused, looking thoroughly over the receipt.  He took a stamp and slammed it down on the paper.  He stood up and went to the back of his little cubicle.

"Red or green," he says.

Red?  I chose red.

Then all of a sudden, I have this little prize.  A bag, with Minere, one of the water brands, attached to the side.

A prize!  At the grocery!!

What a thrilling life I lead.

In other news:
My cat is loving seaweed.  It's her little treat now.
I got mail today, and it made me have a silly smile (Kim's words, not mine).
Work couldn't be going better in any possible way.
I'm drinking my favorite tea from home... strawberry green, and it tastes magnificent.

Song of the Day

This came onto my shuffle as I walked to Kim's this morning.  I didn't have the bike, so the walk was about thrice as long.  But, the walk was beautiful.  I heard this and listened to the lyrics, and thought of Aaron.  But I was also just jammin at the part towards the end.

This was me walking down the village road at 6:30 dancing and lost in my tunes.

Sing Sing (Sing?)

Moi over near the famous Quay

It is my first week settled into Bangkok, so of course I get set on a Professional Development Workshop in Singapore.  Honestly, I can't complain... All the details were settled for me and I just had to show up and be awake!

It was extremely beneficial; I feel more settled and more adventurous, in a much more appropriate headspace.  But, allow me to begin from the beginning.

I've really been struggling to stay asleep the whole night.  The stresses of daily life have been getting to me, I think, and it's been quite a challenge to get a full night's rest.  The night before I left (Wednesday) was no different.  I didn't really pack anything that night, and ended up wide awake around 4:30, putting together my very small case.  I headed over to Kim's on the borrowed bicycle with my big backpack (computer included) and little duffel, and went off to school to waste a few hours before noon.  We checked in, got reentry stamps at the airport, and had a quick snack before finding our way to the terminal.

View from dinner: Boats on the river taking tourists around.

The flight was ... beautiful.  Two glasses of wine and a full meal with my movie (The Grand Budapest Hotel) on a two hour flight.  Americans... you don't understand what you're missing here.  And there was a sign at the airport for us, because we're classy.  And the hotel?  Beautiful in the hotel way.  I almost wrote a blog post about how weird I think hotels are, but I lost the time for it and I'm no longer interested.  It was all about how I nearly killed myself getting out of the shower and how shiny tile is dangerous for clumsy chicks like myself.  Plus.  Do I really require 6 toothbrushes over the course of my stay?  And.  Jacuzzis shouldn't be cold.  Oh.  And despite being free, I was a bit disappointed in breakfast.

PSA: Sing Sing's a bit pricey.

Friday morning was a full day.  Session after session after tea after session after lunch and before coffee and snack.  It was packed, absolutely packed.  In fact, all the days were.  There were rivers of coffee and hot water for tea, piles of snacks and fruit, and an absolutely delightful lunch of Indian fare.  And sessions, lots of sessions.  I got tips about IB, about the lingo, about teaching in the contexts, and just got a clear picture of the types of things that I can (and will) do with this opportunity.  After all, I have this brand new position, and it will be what I make of it.  I'm the MYP and DP librarian, and there has never been one before.  I'm relatively intelligent, and I can do some good things.  The conference really helped me figure out some sort of plan that I may have in the next few years as well.  I have a mentor at school that could help me access a positive role within IB as an organization, so I'm thinking about the types of things that could happen here.  Things are happening.  Quickly!

Forgive the terrible shot, but a guy like this was on my
favorite web site.   Source Here.

We luckily had a little bit of time to enjoy the city beyond the walls of the school.  On Friday night, Erin and I went down to Clarke Quay, which is this huge open air market and food district.  There must have been every single type of cuisine there; we walked past restaurants of every kind before we settled on a Vietnamese place that had a pretty overlook of the river.  It was very nice, with cool weather and delicious food and lots of people to view.  I had this delicious spicy pho bo, a huge bowl of noodles and thick brown broth.  I also picked up a neat pair of earrings (because anyone who knows me knows my inability to resist such a treasure).

It's pretty in Chinatown!

On Saturday, we found our way to Chinatown, which, actually was where we were heading the night before when the river distracted us and took us off course.  When we found it, we found it.  It is unmistakable in its culture.  I admired that immediately.  Singapore has a very interesting feel to it; it's very clean, and almost sterile in its lack of things bold and daring.  Chinatown was bustling from the minute we crossed the street into it.  There were people everywhere, a ton of life, and smells and things to see for streets and streets.  There were tons of vendors, people selling souvenirs and Chinese medicine and name writing supplies, plus more and more.  There was a whole street of food, and we stopped for Chinese, drinking some Chinese tea, and having bok choi and sweet and sour pork.  It reminded me of the Chinese place in Phnom Penh that we used to go to as PCVs.

Chinatown is super lively.  This barely captures it.

There was more walking around Chinatown before we collapsed into the sauna at the hotel and finally found our way to bed.  I bought a magnet as a souvenir.  Also some post cards.

On our final day, there were more connections, more foods, more sessions, before we caught a taxi to the airport (like true jetsetters) and got onto the plane.  I found a post office to mail the things I had been carrying around for almost two weeks (stressor revealed) and it was incredibly cheap.  So, off went a care package for Aaron and his house and my mom (though hers was less thrilling).  On the plane, more wine, more food, more TV.

The blur works for me.  Chinatown.

I felt a difference in myself as well.  I learned all weekend.  I stretched my mind and asked questions about my career and the ways that I can be better in every aspect of my job.  I explored Singapore to the fullest I could.  I need to go back as soon as I have some funds to enjoy it.  It was an interesting place and I left plenty unseen.

But today, today I rocked it.  There were two meetings, a lesson plan, an observation, and a host of emails to teachers.  I've got a plan.  I'm incredibly exhausted, but it is such a blessedly good tired.  It's the kind of tired you get when you're proud of yourself.  And, you know what?

I'm pretty fucking proud of my exhaustion at this moment.

I also bought this cat in Chinatown.  I figured
it would make me giggle.  It has.

Other details.
I got both an atm card and internet banking today.
I found a place that has deep fried broccoli, like a Thai pakora thing.
I have been setting up my office at work and it's starting to look awesome.
I successfully distracted Rizza from geckos with seaweed.

I'm already incredibly more calm because of this trip.  It settled so many of my concerns.

More to come, as per always.  This is a journey without end.

Rough Seas

Preface:  This is not a blog entry meant to make you feel sorry for me, or to incite some sort of feelings for me and my situation.  I just wanted to explore the feelings that I was having and "be real" as Aaron would say.  I feel the need to be honest about switching my country and changing my work and the types of struggles that it comes with.

Moving is hard.  Moving across continents is hard.  Moving with a dependent is hard (in this, I'm making my cat count).  I've been putting on a face and trying to find my place here in Bangkok, but I'm stressed.

I'm stressed about money.  I've purchased my ticket and moved myself and paid the deposit on a new house.  I'm now in Singapore, on the same pay upfront and get reimbursed system.  And, honestly, I'm just plain broke right now.  These different expenses of getting set up in a house have added up and I won't get paid until the end of the month, for everything.  Even though I know that the first of September, I will be completely free and financially sound, I can't prevent myself from worrying and being stressed about the money that will get me through the next few weeks.  I've very few expenses, but I'm worried about the present and worried about the future.  I've taxes to pay every month for Thailand, taxes to pay for America, and I'm worried about that as well.  Will it be fine?  Yes.  It will.  Does that prevent me from worrying and wondering if I'll be able to save enough to pay off my loans?  Not in the least.

I'm hoping that this blog entry helps me feel more calm about it all.

I'm stressed about transport.  I moved into a house near Kim, which is beautiful and quiet.  He's asked me, rightfully so, to help pay for the commute costs, and they are going to take a small chunk of change.  Transport and money both.  I need to buy a bicycle to get around the village, which I've little money for at the moment, maybe eventually a moto as well.  I worry about making it to school on time given I'm riding to school with a European.  I worry about getting my things to and from the village.  It's a year, and I can live anywhere for a year.  I've lived in a dorm with odd ladies, in a huge theatre house, and with some pretty miserable humans last year.  I can do it.  But, I'm worried.

It's just rough for the moment.

I'm stressed about school.  The first days of school are always stressful, particularly in a new school.  There are new relationships, new children, new vocabulary, a new everything.  It is remarkably fresh and new, and it's very fun, but there's already this stress in other parts of my life, and sometimes I have a hard time focusing on what I'm doing at school.  It really helps that I'm in this conference in Singapore; I feel amazingly more confident about IB and the things that I'm doing in the library, the things I'm meant to do.  There's things that I can find more confidence on and work with.  It's always a bit rough to get beginning.

I miss Aaron.  Really, really, really miss him.  That may be remedied in short order, though.

Without these rough seas, I wouldn't understand how incredible life is, so while they stress me out, I'm incredibly grateful for them.  They remind me to be humble, that sometimes struggle is for the best.  I'll be sorted out in short order.

10 things I messed up this week.

Adaptation takes a few days.

And I've just been thinking on my long taxi ride home that I've made more than a few mistakes these past few days.  I wanted to share these things because, well, they are both entertaining and identify a few parts of Thai culture. 

1.  At the grocery store, I failed to weigh my fruit and get a price for the second time.  While in the produce department, you weigh in and get a price not unlike going to the butcher.  Me forgetting (again) to do this means that I wait in the checkout line for a little extra time while the very nice cashier goes and does it for me.... I also get judged a bit by the other customers and the manager.

2.  I neglected to have the proper money in my wallet while taking a taxi.  For some reason, the taxi dudes don't keep much change with them.  I tried to pay for my 120b ride (4ish bucks) with a 1000b note (about 30 bucks) and change wasn't possible.  Luckily, I've been saving coin, and had enough to pay him in basically quarters.

3.  I left this afternoon to go have coffee with my friend from Cambodia and ended up leaving my laundry out in the rain.  This just means that I wait one extra day for my clothing.... and maybe it smells a bit soggy... but otherwise, I just have to remember that this is rainy season.  And in the spring, in the heat, I have to bring them in before they get baked too long.

4.  I apparently broke the ATM with my simple requests.  It stole my card too, which is annoying and gives me an extra chore.  Annoying, but not a huge issue.

5.  I've been unable to locate during working hours both the post office and a photo printing shop.  Also postcards.  I really want to send some postcards to people, but I'm not in touristy places.

6.  I bought too many hangers at the store because I misunderstood the promotion.  Because I don't read Thai and wasn't paying very close attention to the sale.

7.  I'm still awake at 11 the night before my first day of school because I went to the movies in the city.  On the plus side, I got another giant Paragon cup to keep with my and fill with ice water.

8.  I can barely find my own house in the dark.  The poor taxi guy... he got warnings too late about the turns and had to back up at least twice.

9.  I started a new TV show instead of doing some of the work that I had to do.  On the plus side, Orange is the New Black is a pretty sweet show.  

10.  I really wanted to have all my clothes laid out for the first day of school, but I made an executive decision to do that in the morning.

Now for some positives.

1.  Rizza is sleeping next to my computer like she used to, which means she is starting to feel comfy in the new house.

2.  I had a great time catching up with my friend and going to the cinema with her.  Additionally, I made it to and from town on my own, which was quite easy and involved some walking and a cheap taxi.

3.  I did two loads of laundry before leaving it out in the rain... and did the dishes tonight.  I cooked a meal for myself earlier today, which was one of my goals for the week (as Aaron can attest).  I'm all domestic and shit.

4.  There's a tokay near my house somewhere that I hear in the dark.  It reminds me of the home I made in Cambodia and gives me all kinds of comfort.

5.  There aren't any dogs near my house.  This corner is run by felines... and I may just be able to let Rizza out a little to explore.

Enjoy your week, my friends.

A New Home

Borrowed bicycle and yard bereft of green... needs some
fixing.  I need some plants.

I have a wonderful new house.  I've just moved in yesterday, and spent the entire day trying to get myself unpacked and acquire the things I needed.  This is easier said than done.  My house is a bit.... out of the way.... which will eventually be very good.  But for now?  Well.  My legs were a bit tired from pedaling the bike and walking out in the sun.

On the plus side, I'm a 5 minute bike ride from Kims house, and a 10 minute bike ride from town.  This will eventually be a moto area, though.  I need to buy one to get things from place to place.  But later.  Everyone has been clamoring to see my new home, and I am finally settled enough to post some pictures.

Entryway into the kitchen.  3M hooks on the
wall there.

I went all over Sammakorn yesterday, looking around and finding out what is what.  I eventually became just exhausted looking for all the things I required, and even managed to break the ATM and get my card lost.  Now, I don't think this is an atypical problem, since the lady I called didn't sound very surprised.  I was trying to change my PIN number from the one they assigned, and the thing ended up freezing on me.  International life has its drawbacks it would seem.

I got everything I really needed despite the setback.  A fan, for sure.  Somehow, the man who lived here before didn't have one.  He also didn't cook much given the lack of cookery in the kitchen.  He did, however, leave some boss pillows and some nice backpacks.  I also have more furniture than myself and Rizza will ever be able to utilize, and no plants in the courtyard.  I'll work on that with the first paycheck.

Fast Facts:
My first meal was Mama noodles.
I drank every bit of water in the house.
I hooked up my coffee maker, which was the best decision.
I remember I really like the decorative windows.
I woke up to bright sunlight from my east facing window.

Modest kitchen.  Not sure how they forgot all the
cabinets, but that's all good.

Bedroom, with the giant bed and giant window.  Giant
armoire is behind me. 

Desk area in the living room, right by the other door.
There's lots of air there that makes it really cool.

Living room.  They made me keep the TV.  And all this
extra furniture... 

Bathroom.  Hot water shower.  There is another bathroom
with just the hose, but this one seems more legit.

This room has the washing machine and ironing board,
plus a door to the drying.  Not sure exactly the
point of the sink.

Backyard.  For drying the clothes and ... um...

Also for the Christmas tree.  *shrug*

The International Life

Kwatta is a not so sweet chocolate spread that tastes
delightful on bread.  Belgian fare with coffee in the back.

Sunday was a wonderful day.

On Saturday night, these two lovely Italian women showed up to Kim's place.  They are working on shooting a documentary as a pilot for Italian television, all about travelling and moving around different areas of the world.  They are starting with Cambodia, and know Kim and Dani from Italy and travel.  We sat together for hours talking, and did the same thing the next morning.  We sat, and drank coffee (US coffee nonetheless, because they prefer it to Italian espresso!) and talked.

Fare collector on the water taxi.

I am starting to remember why I enjoyed the international life.  It isn't because I'm immersed in a foreign culture and learning how to survive in this new place, but because I meet so many interesting people along the way.  Kim is Belgian, and we ended Sunday by listening to Belgian and Italian music and talking about the meanings.  I learned a few new Italian phrases that are gloriously inappropriate, as well as the gestures to accompany them.  Gestures are crucial in the Italian language.

Indian sweets.  The brown one by the spoon.... delic.

The four of us went on a bit of a tour through Bangkok, seeing all sorts of cultures.  We started with lunch in Sammakorn, where Kim and I live.  It was a cool little Thai restaurant right on the river, so we sat outside and enjoyed the air and the view of the water while we ate rice and cashew chicken.  We all got the same thing, because the menu was all in Thai and we didn't really know the other options.  Kim mentioned that this was quite the issue here.  I reckon I'm going to have to study up and learn a few words and phrases.

We finished our afternoon meal and decided to take the water taxi into the city.  It's very peaceful, and I saw a whole new part of Bangkok.  There were at least five mosques on the way, and a large amount of Muslim women riding up and down the river.  I saw a whole culture on that river, full of people who live a different life than I do.

This Chinese temple we just stumbled into.

Once we got off, we started looking about at the city.  We saw a bit of Chinatown, though most of the shops were closed; it's a four day weekend because of the Queen's birthday on Tuesday and the Monday before was declared a holiday as well.  We also stopped in Little India, which is right next door.

In this little sweet shop in Little India, we ended up tasting all these sugary delights and washed them down with some hot Chai tea with milk.  It was really interesting to just sit and try a bunch of brand new foods.  I have taken my time getting acclimated to Indian foods, and this was a nice foray into the cuisine.  There was one that I really enjoyed; it tasted like a donut hole with some spice on it.  More talking, more sharing, more drinks.  People in the States don't relax like this, I think.

Seeing the sights.

We were walking about and even stumbled into this beautiful little Chinese temple.  In the middle of the city, it was massive, and must have had hundreds of thousands of baht between the Buddhas and the furniture and the antiques.  It looked like this odd mix between cultures too.  It had Buddha, but also Chinese imagery, and some things I didn't recognize.  Gorgeous.

And then, the coup de grace.  We found our way to the river and climbed the stairs of a small bar until we found.... this.  An overlook to one of the most beautiful spots in the city.  We sat and watched the sun go down, just talking and sharing again.

I live such a blessed life.

Francesca and I posing for the camera. 

Isn't this gorgeous?

Muziek

Last night, Kim and I looked listened to Belgian and Dutch language music that he likes.  Here are some lovely songs for you to enjoy.  He is also married to a fantastic Italian woman, so there are a couple of those as well.  We were sharing music and talking last night, for hours.  This is the International Life.

This man has a dialect quite similar to Kim's.  Willem Vermandere.  And he is singing Lat Mie Mor Lopen, which means, "Let me walk."  The whole song is about this man not wanting any material girls, just a girl to walk down the street with, his bicycle, and his wooden shoes.  The chorus is all about his desire to walk down the street with his girlfriend to dance and kiss the night away.  He also sings about trying to get rid of his refrigerator and his razor... he doesn't need them anyway.

This man, Flip Kowlier, is singing Min Moaten, "My Friends."  It is another dialect similar to Kim's, and he says they play it in the bar around 1 or 2, when all the drunk friends will dance and hug together.  It is all about his friends and the different things that they do.  He's sweet talking about his buddies, with lots of love.

How about this sweet Italian song, Paolo Conte, Via Con Me.  A lovely romantic piece.

This one I first heard in Kim's car.  Fabrizio De Andre - Il gorilla.  I thought it was such a lovely little song.  It has this hilarious chorus, talking about the gorrriiiiiiillllllllaaaaa.  And it makes me want to sway back and forth and sing.  Of course, then Kim told me about the lyrics.  They aren't particularly suitable for children or anyone who is polite in Italian.  In fact, the song involves a gorilla who escapes from the zoo and does some dirty things to a judge.   Curious.

The Pope, and his guide to happiness!

I like this pope.  This pope is neat.

In latest interview, Pope Francis reveals top 10 secrets to happiness

Posted from Carol Glatz, Catholic News Service

VATICAN CITY (CNS) -- Slowing down, being generous and fighting for peace are part of Pope Francis' secret recipe for happiness.

In an interview published in part in the Argentine weekly "Viva" July 27, the pope listed his Top 10 tips for bringing greater joy to one's life:

1. "Live and let live." Everyone should be guided by this principle, he said, which has a similar expression in Rome with the saying, "Move forward and let others do the same."

2. "Be giving of yourself to others." People need to be open and generous toward others, he said, because "if you withdraw into yourself, you run the risk of becoming egocentric. And stagnant water becomes putrid."

3. "Proceed calmly" in life. The pope, who used to teach high school literature, used an image from an Argentine novel by Ricardo Guiraldes, in which the protagonist -- gaucho Don Segundo Sombra -- looks back on how he lived his life.

"He says that in his youth he was a stream full of rocks that he carried with him; as an adult, a rushing river; and in old age, he was still moving, but slowly, like a pool" of water, the pope said. He said he likes this latter image of a pool of water -- to have "the ability to move with kindness and humility, a calmness in life."

4. "A healthy sense of leisure." The pleasures of art, literature and playing together with children have been lost, he said.

"Consumerism has brought us anxiety" and stress, causing people to lose a "healthy culture of leisure." Their time is "swallowed up" so people can't share it with anyone. Even though many parents work long hours, they must set aside time to play with their children; work schedules make it "complicated, but you must do it," he said.  Families must also turn off the TV when they sit down to eat because, even though television is useful for keeping up with the news, having it on during mealtime "doesn't let you communicate" with each other, the pope said.

5. Sundays should be holidays. Workers should have Sundays off because "Sunday is for family," he said.

6. Find innovative ways to create dignified jobs for young people. "We need to be creative with young people. If they have no opportunities they will get into drugs" and be more vulnerable to suicide, he said.  "It's not enough to give them food," he said. "Dignity is given to you when you can bring food home" from one's own labor.

7. Respect and take care of nature. Environmental degradation "is one of the biggest challenges we have," he said. "I think a question that we're not asking ourselves is: 'Isn't humanity committing suicide with this indiscriminate and tyrannical use of nature?'"

8. Stop being negative. "Needing to talk badly about others indicates low self-esteem. That means, 'I feel so low that instead of picking myself up I have to cut others down,'" the pope said. "Letting go of negative things quickly is healthy."

9. Don't proselytize; respect others' beliefs. "We can inspire others through witness so that one grows together in communicating. But the worst thing of all is religious proselytism, which paralyzes: 'I am talking with you in order to persuade you,' No. Each person dialogues, starting with his and her own identity. The church grows by attraction, not proselytizing," the pope said.

10. Work for peace. "We are living in a time of many wars," he said, and "the call for peace must be shouted. Peace sometimes gives the impression of being quiet, but it is never quiet, peace is always proactive" and dynamic.

Kelsey's words:
There is much that we can take from this.  I really respect the pope, in a way that before hasn't felt as crucial.  This pope, with his simple clothing and his respect for all people, is leading with such a strong example.  In my quest for happiness and a fulfilling life, I can certainly take some of his cues into my own example.  I'm not sure about the dignified jobs, or the proselytizing, but the rest are all things I can fold into my own life.

In this, the beginning of my habits in BKK, I think I can keep these in mind as I proceed.  I am particularly interested in the idea of proceeding calmly through life.  I have been so excited recently about this transformation and this movement.  It's been very hard to focus and place my attention on just one thing.  I'm sure my blogs seem disjointed, or at least they do to me.  And so, I read, take into account the advice, and log it away.  I want to be the calm water, though, for those around me.  And this I will work on.

Slowly but surely, onward.